Awesome Sunglasses and Hospital Shoes

I want to start off by giving a big thanks to all the fans that wrote me fan letters this week. I am glad that you love our blog, I have heard that Clarks have received the warmest welcome, which makes me a little better but hey, what can you do. He is a great writer. The fan letter that touched my heart the most this week was from my friend Anna Marks, a.k.a. Quick Draw. It touched my heart the most because I forgot that she existed and it made me feel good that she was still out there think about me. Anna thanks for the letter.

Enough of the fan letter business, I know that you are all dying to know what I did this weekend, because I am dying to know the same thing. I kind of forgot. Oh yeah, this weekend everyone in the program all went to the “Nong Cun” (that is Chinese for country side, or village area, or Chinese ghetto, whatever explanation you understand most). I know what you are think, why would anyone want to go to the Nong Cun? I asked the teachers that took us the same question, but even though we were in the Cun all weekend it was still fun, all except for the part when we got lost in the woods and our guide left us in the middle of nowhere. But that part of the story comes later.

On Friday night, we all took the night train to Wenzhou, Wenzhou is actually the city my roommate is from, but we did not go to the area that he lives, which is supposedly nice. We went to the outskirts of the city, something like instead of going to Boston to go have fun, you go to Middlebury. Because we took the night train to Wenzhou we arrived hella early. Once we got to we all had to take a bus to go to the actual place. The bus ride to the Nong Cun was filled with beautiful scenery and sights off the local people hard at work. I don’t actually know any of this for fact because I was doing this:



But I heard it was really nice. And the few times that I raised my head from my wonderful slimber, probably the best sleep I got all trip, the scenery was really beautiful.

Once we finally arrived to the Nong Cun, I was disappointed to see that the snow had continued to get heavier. However, I was not disappointed to see the Nong Cun that we were staying at. It was actually really nice.



This picture does not do it just but the scenery around the Cun was nice and the snow gave it a little flavor. The best part about the place was all the animals that were running around randomly. They had geese, chickens, dogs, and cows; they probably had other things pigs before we came. But I think that we ate most of them for lunch and dinner. Here is a randow cow and her calf running around the Cun, like they owned the place or something.



Those cows are like I don’t eat red meat. But anyway, after some free time on our own we all assembled to go on a hike through the mountains of this Nong Cun. Some people came well prepared. For example her:



I didn’t realize how well hospital shoes helped with hiking. I don’t really know how the helped but she seemed to think that they would help in some way. Maybe because hospital shoes have a lot of traction on the bottom.

The start of the hike was not that difficult. It was actually a nice relaxed hike through what seemed to be just he hills behind the Nong Cun. Here is what the start of the trail looked like:



But I was very mistaken. The path started to get steeper and more slippery as we went future and then finally. There was no path. At first our awesome tour guide with the super sweet sunglasses:



Was leading the way for us. Then all of a sudden he disappeared. It was like he was some guest with leading us through the forest with really awesome sunglasses to protect his eyes from the snow. But since he left we decided to follow the train of others that came before us. I don’t know what kind of route the people that came before us went on, but it was like they were on crack when they decided to chose there direction, and we are dumb asses for following them. This is what the route looked like:



Because the route was not really a route, and more like Tarzan jumping around through the forest, many people lost their footing on the trail Here is Cahill biting it.



And here is Jamie in the same spot as Cahill, doing the same thing.



But the funniest part about Jamie biting it is that she took people out with her. You can’t see it in the picture but Jamie took out this little Chinese girl that was standing in front of her. After a while we finally caught up with the group who’s path we were following and our tour guide.Some how he knew what direction we were going and meet up in front of us with the other group. I tell you he was some guess type creater, creter, crater, creyter, he was some ghost type thing. After we finally meet up with the rest of the group we took a snack break.



Yabazaba, you’re my only friend. When you are hungry, let me tell you a snickers really does satisfy the hunger. When the break was over, we finally descended down the mountain, but this time through a much better trail. The best part of the descending was any time that we got to flat land that was safe enough to walk on. People started ambushing each other with snowballs. It was like World War 0.0001 with snowballs.

After that we all went back to our rooms for a little while to kill time before dinner. The best part about the Nong Cun in freezing cold weather when you are all wet, is that there is no heat. This me chillin the bed with the girl that Jamie took out, and me trying my hardest to catch a cold. I succeed too.



After sitting freezing in the rooms it was time for dinner. I never realized how much that Chinese people love American Republican leaders, and the really like Jordan too. I mean, Jordan did score 63 points in a single game, who wouldn’t love Jordan. And apparently, I look like Jordan. Maybe its my bald head, but you decide.



Because I too love our American Republican leaders, I tried to imitate my favorite one of them all.



Do you think I look like him? I mean he is my cousin on my mother’s uncle’s brother’s father’s sister’s mother’s dog’s roommate’s side of the family. So I should looke like him a little bit. After dinner we all went a did the tradition thing that everyone does a hike. We went and roasted marshmallows. No, I am just kidding we are China, chinese people don’t roast marshmallows. We did something better, we roasted goat meat and sweet potatoes.



I didn’t really roast anything but my feet as you can see in the picture. I most admit, the roasted sweet potatoes where pretty damn good. I didn’t really eat much of the goat meat because I was afraid of getting the la duzi again. I am just no starting to gain back weight. I can’t let myself look like a cancer patient again. After roasting the meat, I went to bed. The bed that I slept in was pretty awesome.



I think it was a traditional style Nong Cun bed but who knows. The bed was nice and soft, but the only thing was the room was cold as hell, so I didn’t get much sleep that night. The next morning was great because the sun finally came out and it stopped snowing.



The Nong Cun looked nice in the sun light, but I was ready to get the hell out of there and go to a new place. We ended up going to a different Nong Cun. It was the rival Nong Cun. There is often rival gangs fights between these two Nong Cuns. Here is the gang colors of the other Nong Cun we went to:



I think there gang colors are flipping sweet. I really want to get a suit like that. I like this new Nong Cun better than the one we stayed in, it has water front housing and with majesticalestic mountains in the back. Majesticalestic means majestic with a little cal and estic added to the back. Here is my roommate stand on some water front properity.



This Nong Cun is really famous for its honey. Everyone was afraid but I went and spoke with the bee keepers about there honey making tactics.



But once everyone saw that I didn’t get stung they all came over to have a look too. Unfortuately, Clark got stung on the nose and his nose swelled up like a ballon.



The rest of Clark swelled up because of the price of beer in China. And maybe all the Chinese food he has been eaten contributed to it too.

I really liked this Nong Cun for another reason. I reminded me of the summer I spent in the South with me grandma except everything in the Nong Cun was Chinese. But this Nong Cun had a lot similars to the south for example, this Church in the middle of the fields with one dirty road leading to it.



Jesus Walks, even in the Nong Cun of China. Another thing that reminded me of the South is that families just sit on the porch and talk on Sunday afternoons.



I though that this Nong Cun was a really cool place. It had a really peaceful feel to it. After going to that Nong Cun we went to this place with beautiful scenery and lots of waterfalls. The water falls and the mountains were like something I have never seen before, probably because it was a place I had never seen before.



At the every top of this mountain waterfall area was another Nong Cun.



It also had this bull. This bull really didn’t like foreigners. Everytime we tried to walk by it, it started going crazy. Finally, I challegened him to a butting heads contest, but he didn’t want to ram with me. He got scared.



Maybe because I wasn’t wearing red. After the waterfall place we caught the train back to Hangzhou.

And yesterday, I went to Xi Hu (West Lake). Xi Hu is a really famous like in China. It is supposed to be one of the most beautiful lakes china has to offer. It really reminded me a lot of Lake Washington. Here are some the pics. It was a cloudy day today so the pictures might not be that great, but enjoy them anyway.



And today, my only plans are to have dinner with Golze’s family. I wish my family and friends were considerate enough to come visit me or ate least give me a call or write or something. Well anyway, I’m out.

Oh yeah, I heard that the phone number people tried didn’t work so here it is again.

This is the cell number: 011-86-137-3823-1315

This is the room number: 011-86-571-8881-7128

crap, we're all out of bumf!

one of my favorite supermarkets nearby does an admirable job in translating chinese to english for its zero customers who know no chinese. for example, the name of the store is "trust mart," which is not bad, close enough to "safeway" for my tastes. the names on the aisles get by, with a few errors, such as "aundry" for "laundry," "cooky" for "cookie," and, perhaps my favorite, "cleanly things" for toiletries, etc. but one translation i cannot figure out it the one for "toilet paper." it simply reads "bumf." if anyone can figure out the connection, i'll buy you a gift worth 50 cents or less.

below is a picture of tyler, who hails from the fine institution of vanderbilt, eating cake with chopsticks.

Golze Finally Taught Me, Yeah!!!!

I have had multiply request for me to put pictures on the blog, but because I didn’t know how no who got to see the wonder and spectacular places that I went. For example, got to see the pictures of the land of the mystical land of the swirlly twirllies, and no got to see the pictures of the land of the 20 feet pandas. Unfortunately, you guys will probably never get to see those pictures because those pictures or on a different computer that I don’t have access to right now. But what you get to see are the few pictures that I do have. I must admit that they are not that good because only a few of them are from the really cool places I went, like I only have four from the “Long March” journey. So most of these pictures are from when I arrived to Hangzhou, and if you have been following along with my blogs you should know where these pictures are from. And if you haven’t been following a long I will put captions at the bottom. And if you can’t read, sorry, that kind of sucks. So with out further ado do, these are my pictures.



This is the Hanging Temple, it is in Da Tong, it was just hanging there from the side of the cliff not really doing anything. At first I could not understand why it was able hang, then I saw this monk mediating in front of it. He was wearing a robe and had a light saber on his waste, he was using some Jedi mind trick type stuff to keep it floating. I swear when I was standing next to him, I felt the force.



These are a couple of Buddhas I found just chillin in a cave doing the Damn Thang. I really don’t know what the Damn Thang is, but they where definitely doing it.



This is my boy, Big Buddha, a.k.a. Daddy Fat Back. He got me by a few inches. But when we got on the BBall court, I dunked in his face.



This is the monk’s teacher I was talking about earlier. The monk learned everything from him.



From right to left is my roommate Chen Zhong Yan also know as Hao Nan, Clark, and me. This is Clark and I attempting to sing Karaoke in Chinese. It wasn’t going so well, so my roommate jumped in to help us out.



This is Golze looking extremely happy about being almost killed, and having to carry like fifty million bags. Those are just a few of the bags he had to carry next to him.



This me doing a solo, the ladies went wild after it. Watch Out, Chinese Idol, I am your next superstar.



This is The Canal of Wu Zhen. Wu Zhen is a pretty nice place. To ride one of those boats along the can takes a whole 7 minutes.



Me sitting on a bridge in Wu Zhen with Clark in the background ruining my picture with is boxiness, thanks Clark for being a box in the background.



This is the cloth that I was talking about in one of my blogs. This cloth is so valuable that in the town of Wu Zhen with just three square inches of it, you can buy 5 wives, three goats, two cows, a clam, 12 chickens with a roaster, and still have money left over to buy a house and the state of the art Chinese bicycle.



This is just me looking good on the mean streets of Hangzhou right before we went to go climb that hill.



This is almost at the top of the hill I walked up with a pretty good view of Hangzhou in the background.



Because the Chinese love to play Counter Strike so much, the decided to take the game out of the computer and in to really life right out side of our dorm. I wish I was joking, but I am serious. Oh and by the way those guns are really. 12 Chinese students died that day. Ok, the guns are not really but they do love their Counter Strike.

Well that’s all the pictures that I have at my disposal, hopefully, I will be able to put more up in the future. Well, I have to go to lunch. So, 100 and TTFN, for all you losers that didn’t watch Poohie Bear growing up, that means Tat Tat For Now.
P.S. I would like to give a shot out to my favorite Spanish-speaking Vietnamese Communist. I just want to say that I love you and you will always be in my heart. And I will never for get that night that we had in Munroe together.

pictures; and the not-so-funny side of propaganda

long promised and finally arrived are pictures of our current home. a recent warm spell, possibly the beginnings of spring, prompted a frenzy of outdoor activity. without further ado:

a boat of questionable purpose headed down one of hangzhou's many canals. this may in fact be the grand canal, which stretches all the way to beijing, making it the longest canal in the world, but i'm never positive which one it is.

another view of the same canal from a bridge.

west lake, the main tourist attraction of hangzhou, with the downtown skyline in the background.

a small street near our campus.

the other day my one-on-one teacher invited me over to her apartment for dinner. i was talking with her 14-year old daughter, and somehow the topic came up about sino-japanese relations, and her daughter said that she absolutely hated the japanese. i asked why and she said of course because of the japanese invasion, war crimes, ect. of 60 years ago. her parents then asked me if how i felt about the germans (sort of not-too-pc questions like this are the norm in china), and i said that i liked them just fine, that even my parents do not think poorly of the germans, seeing as that war was a long, long time ago. oddly enough, my teacher and her husband adamently agreed with my view, but their daughter was not to be swayed. it certainly says something when the younger generation is taking steps backward in terms of understanding, but i'm not sure exactly what.

a parting shot of ridiculous english:

We Finally Did It!!!!!

It took some hard nose journalism, epic stories, two fantastic writers, and a simple application, but we finally did it. We finally made the http://sinosplice.com/cbl/ list. I would first like to thank Clark for all his hard work and contributions to the blog. Clark with out you none of this could have been possible. Next, I would like to thank Golze, with out you censoring our blogs like you are the Communist Party, I don’t think that we would have a chance to make the list. Next, I would like to thank all our fans across the globe that actually read this blog. I would like to thank the Red Headed Russians, The Hawaiian Japanese Kid, and The not so Holy Nuns in London, you are the reason we blog. Oh and everyone in the U.S. thanks too.

So now to the important stuff, what did Ma Du do this weekend? Well, on Saturday, Ma Du went to the small town of Wu Zhen in the Zhe Jiang Province. It is only like an hour and a half from Hangzhou. It is a small town with an old school Chinese feel. Originally, the plan was for me to go by myself but then Joy, Jamie, Clark, and Cahill decide to invite themselves to come a long with me, which was cool because I don’t think it would have been as fun by myself.

Wu Zhen is most famous for its ahh…..for its old school look and the canal that runs through it. I have never been to Venice but I am sure that this town with its single canal way is nothing like it but it was still a pretty cool town anyway. We saw a lot of things for example, for example, oh we saw a puppet show and we saw the place where they probably make the grossest liquor in the world. It was some type of Bai Jiu. I know it was gross because I took a free sample and all most died. Oh, know I remember, Wu Zhen is famous for its blue dyed cloth with flowers on it. I don’t know how to example it, but maybe when Clark writes his blog he will be able to explain it better. However, the cloth is supposed be really special and when people come to Wu Zhen they always buy something made from this cloth. I don’t know how to explain this place better but tomorrow I am supposed to be getting internet in my room and I will be able to post pictures of the place so that you can see how flippin awesome it was.

On Sunday, Ma Du went mountain climbing or he thought he was going to go mountain climbing. In Chinese the world for mountain is “Shan”, it also happens to be the word for hill. I did not know that until yesterday when I got to this supposed mountain that I was supposed to be climbing. So on Sunday some of the Chinese roommates invited me to go mountain climbing, but actually all we really did was walk up a hill. It was pretty cool because the hill had some good views of Hangzhou and this ancient cave with some interesting statues on the inside. The hike was very peace and soothing it was good to get away the campus and go to a more scenic area. The hike was also fun because I was the only American. Being the only American was actually fun because it made me use my Chinese and made me realize that when I speak, sometimes, only sometimes, Chinese people understand what the hell I am saying. And that is flippin sweet.

Today, I didn’t do anything special except finally talk to Golze for the first time in like forever. We had a nice friendly chat on the “Yu Mao Qiu” Court (Yu Mao Qiu is Chinese Tennis, you hit a bird over a net with two sticks). We had a come of epic matches. They were all close. The last match was especially close it could have been anyone’s game, but because of a few key errors, Golze ended up being victorious. That’s ok because next time he is going down.

Oh, the best thing that has happened to me since I have been in Hangzhou is that I found what could be the world’s best Chinese restaurant in all of the whole world and it might even be the greatest Chinese restaurant ever place in the whole world, really. I ate there four times last week. I just have to say it is damn good. And all of those who didn’t say happy birthday to Golze you should because last week was his birthday. How do I know? Because we celebrated his birthday at the world’s best Chinese restaurant in the entire whole world and it might even be the greatest Chinese restaurant ever place in the whole world, really. Oh, this is the actually name of the restaurant when you translate it in to English.

Well, that is all that I have been up to and to all those who care, I have change my number and this is my new number 1-373-813-1315.

And everyone remember, the grammar and sentence structure of this blog has been change to protect the illiterate.

"it's a sledgehammer"

i bought a bicycle today. it's pretty sweet. with a basket and everything. now i can tool around the city with impunity, saving valuable time and money since i don't have to ride the bus much anymore (the bus costs about 25 cents). of course, that also means i can end up far away from school when it starts raining, and not have any choice but to ride back in the rain. like today. my bike has this really cool lock that is permenently attached right over the rear wheel. it's hard to explain, but it's awesome and i'm gonna buy one just to bring back to the states. chinese mass bicycle transist technology is far better than in the states, and as far as i'm concerned is a direct threat to our national security. we must close the bicycle gap!

perhaps the most bizaare thing i've seen in china so far, or at least in hangzhou, are the street watering trucks. perhaps they're purpose is to clean the street, maybe to perserve the asphalt, i really don't know, i don't work here. all they seem to do is make the street wet. these big tanker trucks come barrelling down the center of the road, spraying water out the bottom all along the sides. but that's not the strangest part yet: they play ice-cream truck music. so just remember, if you're ever in hangzhou and hear tingling bells on the street, don't come out expecting a cool, creamy summer treat. instead, run away, because like everything else on the road in china, these merry sounding trucks will run you down with a vengence. or at least get you really wet.

p.s. special thanks to duc, cc, and michael for the e-mails.