
Thursday, June 04, 2009
my brother and sister come to china and create mass havoc

Chinese Wedding and Chinese Baseball
After taking a hiatus, I am back. A lot has happened since I last wrote anything, so I will not try to catch you up on everything, because I mostly don’t remember. I do remember that a lot of Middlebury people and Golzes have come through the Jing and it was great to see them all. Calvin, remember you said that I could be in your cabinet once you are president.
Our beers that we started brewing a few blog posts ago have matured well and are pretty good, some better than others. I have had a hard time picking a favorite, but my current favorite is our ginger beer (my favorite tends to be whatever I am drinking at the time), which has had mixed reviews by people. One person said it tastes like soap and others said they want to buy it.
Not last weekend but the weekend before that, I went to a Chinese wedding. It was the only Chinese wedding I have ever been to and not like anything I have ever seen before. As I have not been to a lot of Chinese weddings, I did not know what to expect and I do not know if the one I went to is how things are normally performed (I tried to think of a better word than performed, but I can’t because it was definitely a performance). The wedding started with the groom popping out from build a television screen like a host would on a game show, the announcer announced his entrance and I am pretty sure that announcer said Leeeeet’s get ready toooo rummmmmbleeeee in Chinese. As he comes out clouds smoke shoot out from the sides and the lights start flickering and the music changes from slow to something more uptempo, it felt like watching Shaq come out during an all star game. When I get married I definitely want to have an announcer and when once I kiss the bride I am going to spike the bouquet and do an end zone/wedding dance. After the announcer announced the groom it was the brides turn. The way the music changed and from the excitement in the announcer’s voice, I was almost positive that she was going to fly from the ceiling. However, she came down holding her dads arm to some slow Chinese pop music. It was very sweet. Then, they played the tradition wedding music and the father gives the bride to the groom, all the while the announcer is announcing everything. Once they are on stage, the announcer administers the vows; the announcer is a cross between a minister and a hype man and Michael Buffer. After the vows are exchanged more smoke, cake cutting ensues, pictures with everyone at the party, more smoke, pouring out the champagne, more smoke and then the bridge and groom comes around to toast everyone individual. A lot of alcohol was consumed by them, it was quite impressive. I may not have done a good job describing it, but it was a very beautiful event. Once China stops blocking my access to blogspot I will add pictures.
After the wedding ended, Señor Bacardi and I met up with Golze and went to a baseball game to see the Beijing Tigers vs. the Tianjin Lions. It was a great game. The Beijing Tigers had a substantial fan section complete with Chinese drums, baseball chants and raucousness. We were basically the raucousness, Señor Bacardi is a bad influence on us, the Chinese fans were relatively tame except for the drummers. At one point during the match, I saw this girl with a baseball glove and turn to Golze and say do you think she can use that? And she turns around and glares at me and says yes (I often forget that Chinese people can speak English). If Señor Bacardi wasn’t there I might have felt more embarrassed. Anyway, with some stellar defense and good at bats, the Tigers rallied to come back and defeat the Tianjin Lions in the bottom of the 9th. I forget to mention that the Tigers uniforms are pretty sweet, if anyone knows how to get a jersey let me know, I tried to buy one from the players and go shot down. They kept saying something like we need them, we are still playing in the game or some other nonsense. After the game was over Golze and I were not sure how we were going to get back to Beijing (the game was not played in Beijing, it was in some small city just outside) or at least back to the train station (the train station was pretty far from the field). So as we are talking to a guard at the guard station at the entrance to the ballpark a car pulls up. And ask if we want a ride. We are like hellz yeah (we are in China no one is going to kidnap us and take us to candy mountain). Once we get in we realize, on snap, the driver is the girl with the glove. Awkward! After some chat chit, we discover that the driver and the other passenger are reporters and that the girl with the baseball glove works for Time and that their English is much better than mine. I think it is pretty safe to say we will never make it on the Time blog roll now.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
the dentist in china
first of all i scheduled the appointment only two days in advance, whereas for the dentist i went to growing up it's so crazy you almost need to schedule your next appointment in six months time before even your current appointment. they even called me up to change the time to make sure there was an english speaking staff member to do my cleaning, which i graciously accepted because i don't know any dentist vocabulary but turned out i didn't need. and everybody was extraordinarily friendly, especially after i awed them with my ability to speak and write chinese. (the best way to really impress a chinese person is to write something in chinese, as most people in beijing now are pretty jaded by foreigners who can speak. luckily i only had to write my address, which besides my name is about the only thing i can write from memory in chinese anymore).
but the kicker was at the end of the cleaning, where the girl who cleaned my teeth (they called her a "doctor" in chinese but i'm not actually sure if she was a doctor in the english sense) told me "your teeth are really great!" a far cry from in the states, where the end of a cleaning usually results in some heavy admonishment, about how you should floss, and then once you start flossing about how you are doing it wrong, and then about how you're brushing too hard or too straight or not for long enough. i mean i take ok care of my teeth (i actually floss everyday), but i suspect most of her praise was due to some pretty weak competition from the locals on the dental hygiene front. still, i walked out of there feeling pretty good, which is more than i can say for any trip to the dentist back home.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
a goldilocks moment
however, i have my doubts about the efficacy of the procedure. when i arrived today, there was a lady with what must have been some kind of infrared thermometer, about the size of a small flashlight, a bit of technology i had never seen before. it apparently works by taking a reading off your skin. the first reading she took was off the top of my wrist, which returned a 33 (too cold, she said). the next was off my forehead, which returned a 37 (she told me to a wait a second to cool down). finally i rolled up my sleeve, and the reading off my forearm was an even 35 (perfect, according to her). later i overheard a guy in a locker room saying the same thing had happened to him. let's just say that if the pandemic arrives, the gym won't be the first place i will be taking refuge.
Monday, May 04, 2009
tianjin and china's stephen colbert
tianjin is a decent city, but the i share the major complaint with most other people in that there's not much going on there. we went to lunch and wandered around the part of town with a lot of old architecture from when there was a large european presence in the city in the early 20th century. it was a cool mix of quite large single family homes and small apartment buildings. it looked like a neighborhood you might find in an old inner suburb of boston or new york.
but the highlight of the trip was lunch, when i ticked another animal off my list of things to eat: ants. i wasn't too keen on it but gave into peer pressure and tried. as you can see from the picture, it came in a small martini glass with a maraschino cherry. they had much more texture than flavor, crunchy but also light and airy. it was like eating hundreds of teeny tiny pieces of popcorn. apparently they are good for virility, but i can't vouch for any immediate effects.
fun story: durrell and i, on our way to my place to watch lost, stop in to the corner store right outside my building so i can get a drink, and the guy working there, who sees me all the time, looks at durrell and asks me "is he your little brother?" i look at him for a second, then ask "does he look like me?" and the guy says "yeah, you look a lot alike." honestly it was refreshing, after meeting so many obliviously racist people in china, to meet a guy that is clearly blind to race.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
plants and shame
in other news, i can check something else off my list in china: i was told that i was "hurting the feelings of the chinese people." it actually took me a while to figure out that was what my coworker was saying to me. the short of it is that this developer in beijing is offering a discount on units in its new development if the buyer manages to woo and marry one of the sales girls. so of course i had to write that up as a headline for our monthly news publication, and when i passed it to my coworker for translation he informed me that i was bringing shame on 1.3 billion people. though my protestations that it was already in the news fell on deaf ears, he dutifully translated it. hopefully it will make it through the censors in our shanghai office.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Sunday, April 12, 2009
life and death in beijing
durrell says this is exactly what happened to audrey, but i refuse to believe it is going to die. it is merely toughening up for the harsh realities of apartment living in beijing, shedding poorly performing leaves. there are already a few buds and new leaves sprouting. nevertheless, like peasants back in the day in china who didn't name their kids when born in case they died, i haven't named my plant yet, so i won't be too attached if it does die.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
another hike, and doing stupid things in china
other pictures from the hike can be found here: baiquanshan hike
Friday, March 06, 2009
at this stage, i have a phd in powerpoint
http://dimension.jobsdb.com/career/Default.asp?PID=3&AC=JLL&EC=JLLCN&GC=&JobID=1002&LID=3&HKB294070070981980
but seriously, let me know. there's a substantial referral fee.
Thursday, March 05, 2009
putting it bluntly
those that know me from college know that, despite writing a rather lame music column for it, one of my favorite pastimes was criticizing the campus, the student newspaper. those that have known me even longer know that the habit extends all the way back to the mirador, which somehow hasn't made the jump online (i even had to create its wikipedia page). in dc it was whatever that paper is called that they give out on the metro.
now in china it is the people's daily, perhaps the best of the bunch. the paper is the official mouthpiece of the chinese communist party, and the english language version is a clunky attempt to showcase china to the rest of the world. and by the rest of the world, i mean tourists who come to china. and me. because i read the headline of every single story posted to the website every day. which lets me pick up some choice articles, like this awkward attempt to be relevant on valentine's day, this bizarre art choice on a christmas story, or this hard-hitting reporting on people being "fussy" because they can't watch more tv post-Olympics.
the article that prompted this post, however, was actually quite interesting and well done, about how the government is planning to end guaranteed lifetime employment for civil servants. (to my former coworkers: you thought you had it good!) it starts off talking about potential changes, like actually firing people for poor performance, moves to some background about the number of civil servants, and then ends with a bang:
More people consider jobs in the civil service as easy option.
"I would like to trade my current job, even though it pays better, for a government job because I want more personal space," Beijinger Xiao Liu, who sat the entrance exam last year, said.
In the past, government positions guaranteed workers cradle-to-grave employment and basic welfare. But the central government is keen to introduce new rules to ensure public sector employees actually work for a living.
bam! someone doesn't think highly of government workers, though it's funny to think that whoever wrote that line works for the official newspaper of the communist party, which isn't exactly the cutthroat private sector either. makes me wonder if some english polisher snuck that in under the editors' noses, though he/she seemed to miss the mistake in the first sentence.
in other news, this blog's biggest fans came and visited me in beijing last weekend. here is a picture of them in one of the gallery spaces in the 798 art district. the vaulted ceilings are excellent in bringing in natural light. those east german architects were smart.
Monday, March 02, 2009
baghdad back to beijing
During the Chinese New Year I hung around Beijing. I don't think I'll be the same again. A large component of the celebration is the lighting of fireworks and firecrackers in the streets. Throughout the weekend there was a steady crescendo of local Beijingers igniting their contraband -- a symbolic gesture to scare bad luck away for the coming year. On the eve of the 15-day celebration families gather to watch a cherished 3 hour variety show featuring all of China's most popular (and CCP-accepted) celebrities (think Dick Clark New Year's meets Lawrence Welk).
The video below documents the first evening when it was legal to light the things inside Beijing (not to say they weren't going off beforehand).
Our bathroom window allows access to the open roof of the building next to us, offering a nearly 360 degree panoramic view of our neighborhood in eastern Beijing. Throughout the evening, we continued to crawl out there to observe (until the cold air would send us back in). In the hours of the early evening, things were already impressive. But it wasn't until around 11:30pm -- when the variety show had ended -- that things started to become insane. It felt like every single family in Beijing, if not China, had taken to the streets to light thousands of kuai worth of fireworks, some no more than 30 meters away.
A vivid childhood memory is watching the Gulf War erupt on its first night -- as CNN correspondents Bernad Shaw and co. hunkered down in the Al-Rashid Hotel to film those eerie night-vision images of tomakawk missles bombarding the city. Well standing on our rooftop, wondering if it was actually safe to be standing there, and ready to bolt back to the window at any moment, is probably the closest I'll ever get to what thos men must have been feeling to know that hundreds of F-15s were bearing down on them. Ok, perhaps I'm exaggerating, but to this war-zone ambience, the firecrackers relentlessly continued throughout the week -- often beginning as early as 7:30am -- and random intervals. I was becoming crabby and irratable -- shell-shocked if you will. It was impossible to watch a full episode of TV without pausing at least once, if not three times, to allow the roar of a 10-meter bianpao string to subside. These things are LOUD!! Let's just say that as special as this experience was, I'm glad that it's over and life has returned to normal.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
last post about japan
as an added bonus, here are some videos from the trip [UPDATE: videos hopefully fixed]:
Monday, February 09, 2009
I Give Myself an Award Winning Interview about My Trip to Japan
How did you prepare for the trip?
Wikitravel
Most useful thing you brought with you?
A Japan Rail pass (you can't travel around Japan without it, seriously, I think it might be financial impossible) and Golze, because he told me what trains to take.
What did you see?
I forgot look at the pictures from the previous post
Where did you go?
Japan, I think Golze is going to make a map of where we went but too many places to list in one interview.
What was your favorite place?
I don't remember much of the trip anymore, but I did like the ninjas and the onsens in Beppu were awesome, except for that really hot one.
Least favorite place?
I don't think I had one, but sitting on the train station platforms kind of sucked after a while.
Best thing you saw?
Japanese people doing 50's music and ninjas.
Worst thing you saw?
A monkey dropping a deuce.
Weirdest thing you saw?
The weirdest thing I saw was something I didn't see, and that was trash cans. For some reason Japan does not have trash cans, but its one of the cleanest countries I have ever been to, scratch that, it is the cleanest in the world (just wikipedia it). Also, it was weird to see that Japanese girls don't believe in winter, because almost all the school girls I saw were dressed for summer.
Favorite thing you ate?
Okonomiyaki (which I am trying to figure out how to bring to Beijing, because it would make a killing) and inari-zushi (I can't get enough of the stuff, just like my grandma used to make) and last but not least SUSHI fresh from the Tokyo fish market. The sushi was so fresh that you could still taste the sea and the old man who caught it.
Least favorite food?
Do they have bad food?
Any people you would like to thank?
I would like to thank Steve and Caitlyn for hosting us at there place and feeding us and driving us around and showing us their hood and translating and everything else they did that I forgot. It was great thank you. Also sorry about the stickers.
If you have more questions about our trip post a comment to our blog or email Golze and he will answer all your questions.
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
pictures from japan
Sunday, January 18, 2009
in search of beer bottles
the other option is to get them from bars, who mostly don't bother with recycling. first of all it's free. the other plus side with bars is that they use the regular 12 oz bottles we know and love in the states, and not the huge 600 ml bottles you get at the local stores. so last night out in sanlitun durrell and i decided to give it a try. luckily durrell had also brought along a giant red bucket we may use for bottling, so we had somewhere to put the bottles.
it was a little early when we started out, so there weren't many bottles around. the first bar we went into was friendly enough. we asked the bar tender if he had any empties, and he showed us a box with about five or six, and said sure we could take them. but then his buddy at the bar, who may have been the manager, stopped us and asked what we wanted them for. "are you guys going to fight with them?" like we were going to meet the rockets for a choreographed scuffle under the bridge later on. we told him we needed them to bottle our own beer, and they happily let us take them.
we eventually ended up at the tree, a place known for good european-style pizza and a large selection of belgian beer. we parked ourselves at the end of the bar, luckily, we found out later, because that is where the waitresses came to deliver their orders from the tables. we ordered two beers and then asked if the bartender if he had any empties. he gave us ours, we told him we wanted any others that came through, and the stream of love began. he never even asked us why we wanted them, but handed over every single bottle that he poured for the rest of the night (about 50).
the waitresses were a bit more inquisitive, and shrewd. one discovered that we were taking bottles from the bartender and putting them in a giant red bucket next to our bar stools. she then began playfully harassing us, demanding payment for the empties from all the orders she brought to the bar. she eventually let every waitress in the bar know, so we racked up a "tab" of 45 yuan that we owe to the waitresses at the tree the next time we go back there.
Monday, January 12, 2009
brewing notes for first brew (alpha)
Total brew time: about 4 hours
Recipe
3 kg of malt (12 tubs)
3 oz (85 grams) of Cascade Hops (1.5 oz at 0 min, 0.75 oz at 30 min, 0.75 oz at 50 min)
Prep
Prep time about 45 min.
Need a big spoon for stirring, preferably carved from an even bigger spoon. Used spatula this time. Worked OK.
Get cleaning solution together during prep, need it when removing cap of water bottle
Cook
4:48. Started boil
5:40. Water (about 4/5 of bottle) boiling
~5:54. Finished adding malt, had to wait for it to start boiling again
5:56. Added 42 grams (1 oz) of hops, start 1 hour boil time (smells great!)
Forgot to wait for foaming to start before adding hops, added 1st hops when water + malt reboiled
Went to buy extra water, needed about 2.65 litres, bought 4 litre bottle
Figure out how to dry hop!
Cooling and transfer to fermenter
Tried to add extra water to boiled wort right at end to help with cooling. Added about 2 litres
When cooling manually added cold water to top of bucket, took lid off and stirred (about 1/2 way through cooling time)
Amy cleaning fish bowl in kitchen while this going on, possible contamination!
Using hand to gauge the temperature probably not sufficient, need to figure out a place to buy a thermometer for possibly a more accurate temperature reading.
Screen filter most effective in 2nd half of transfer to fermenter
Used siphon to aerate wort
2 layers of seran wrap and 2 not very tight rubber bands on top of water bottle
Thursday, January 08, 2009
16 hours in pingyao
pingyao is a small city in shanxi province, to the southwest of beijing. as far as i know the city formed during the ming dynasty (1400s-1600s), but rose to prominence as a banking capital during the qing (1800s). the place has been preserved well, with complete city walls and several sites of old banking houses, temples, and government offices. an estate nearby was where raise the red lantern was filmed. nowadays, shanxi province is known for its coal industry, an aspect that was fully apparent while we were there: pingyao is the most polluted place i have ever been. it smelled like sitting behind a diesel truck whenever you were outside. beijing seems like montana in comparison.
as a result i'm still not sure how i feel about the place. i had a good enough time, and have conditionally recommended that others go there. but would i go again? definitely not.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Eggnog Is The Mother Of All Invention
We then add brandy and fold in the egg whites and let that chill for three hours, and did some other steps after that, that also involved the Black and Decker (this whole experience made me realize why and how the electric hand mixer was created.) To make a long story short, the trick to great eggnog is a power drill and nutmeg, oh and our eggnog was great. I highly recommend the recipe. Happy Belated Christmas and Hanukkah everyone, enjoy our Holiday party photo montage.
Highlight of the Day: Finishing the apple pie with digestive biscuit crust that I baked yesterday. And knowing that I still have gift cards to starbucks and subway to use; thank you very much Smith family for the lovely present, I can't wait to use them.

Thursday, December 18, 2008
I Make Less Than a McDonald's Employee
Highlight of the Day: Walking down the street listening to the bugle on ipod and giggling every 30 seconds while old Chinese men stared at me crazy every thirty meters. Yeah that's right meters, I have converted to the metric system. Celsius is coming next, wild card bitches!