Gulags!? in China!?

Post by New-Clark (refer to Durrell's post about brewing and hooking)

 

Guide to Avoiding the Chinese Gulags

 

For those of you who have gotten a visa for China, perhaps you've pondered at times what would happen if you inadvertently overstayed your welcome. If you haven't yet, you're probably doing it right now. I myself wondered this while I was overstaying my welcome, and realized that I wouldn't really enjoy being incarcerated in a Chinese Gulag (if such things exist outside of Russia).

 

I woke up groggily on a Wednesday morning around 11 am or so Beijing time. First thing I did was check my phone text messages. I had unknowingly made the correct decision to silence my phone while I was sleeping, and so I didn't accidentally answer the phone during this morning. The first message was from Joy and read:

 

"The police are looking for you, are you ok?"

 

I immediately got worried and tried to determine what I could have possibly done to draw attention to myself. I quickly find out that I had misread the departure date on my temporary residence registration form. Instead of mmddyyyy it is yyyymmdd, crazy non-uniformity of date designations (that's my explanation and I'm sticking to it).

 

I follow advice to not answer the phone, not answer the door, and get the hell out of China. I schedule a flight for that evening to Seoul, Korea, and have the tickets scheduled to be delivered to my apartment around 4:30 pm.

 

Around 4, there is a knock on the door. I have my roommate Will answer the door since it could be my tickets, but it turns out to be the police...looking for me. Thankfully they forgo the search of the apartment, Will plays off like he's his brother (since he was unregistered at the time), and I get my tickets literally 5 minutes after the police depart.

 

Upon leaving China through Beijing International, no mention of my longer than allotted stay is made, and I safely board the plane and leave for Korea. My return flight is about 17 hours after I arrive, just long enough to catch some Z's in the airport, and determine that the Korean language sounds way more foreign than Chinese does.

 

When I get back to China, I go to the police department to reregister. This is about how the conversation went:

 

Police Officer: "Oh, I've been looking for you"

Ignorantly: "Oh? You have? I didn't know"

Inquisitively: "Yes, I stopped by your apartment and your roommate said that you left"

Innocently: "Ah, well yeah I left for Korea"

Trap #1: "I called your phone several times, why didn't you pick up?"

Honestly: "I left for Korea…Why would I bring my Chinese phone to Korea?"

Failed: "Oh, you're right. What were you doing in Korea?"

Convincingly: "Sightseeing"

Trap #2: "Do you speak Korean?"

In the Clear: "No, but I don't speak Chinese either"

 

And that is how I avoided being stuck in a Chinese Gulag. So, moral of the story: don't answer your phone if you don't know the number, it could be the cops. Or just someone you forgot to put into your phonebook.