My One World One Dream

I recently read in the Wall Street Journal that Beijing is publishing a book on etiquette for Chinese people. This book in my opinion is long over due, but I am also an uptight adverse to cultural change foreigner, or I just hate the fact that Chinese people push the shit out of my on the subway. One the interesting things in this book to me, is the 8 things that you can't ask igners, mostly because these are questions Chinese people often ask me. For example, last week I took a taxi to go to the National Theater for the first time to watch River dance (River dance has surprisingly more ballet and tap and singing in it than I thought, I was expecting more a lord of the dance type thing, like the guy who used to wear the headband and be on the TV all the time like in 1994. And the black guy coming out singing some type of "Old Man River" song with a Francois Clemmons voice was very unusual and frankly unexpected, I really didn't understand this part of the performance and don't get how it applies to River Dance. Also is it just me, or whenever you watch River Dance, the "Safety Dance" song starts playing in your head) also for the first time. The National Theater is the big golf ball looking building, some people say it's nice, I think it looks like a big golf ball with a moat. Anyway back to the topic, in the taxi, I had on this rare occasion to have a female taxi driver (I think there maybe like only 20 female taxi drivers in all of Beijing) and for some reason I decided that I wanted to talk to her. I rarely talk to the drivers nowadays, although I used to a lot when I was student. It's a great way to get a good Chinese perspective. Anyway, after talking for a while, out of nowhere she ask me if I was religious and what religion I believe. I was kind of shocked she asked me, because of the 8 questions that Chinese people ask, this one is rare, because from what I can tell the vast majority of Chinese people are atheist or none practicing Buddhist and don't really think to ask this question as much as the others. She was quite open about her religious experience, telling me that she has been a Christian now for four years and before she was a believer in God she had a lot of health problems. She also began to sing some hymns in Chinese to me, they sounded familiar but I have no idea what she was singing about. Normally, I would say something sarcastic or stupid or inappropriate about what happened, but because I am afraid of god and don't make fun of people's religion. I will say it was nice to have a frank discussion about belief of Christianity from a Chinese person's perspective.

That above story is not why, I wanted to write this post. I wanted to write this post to call out to the fans who might see me around during the Olympics and be able to assist me. I just have one goal for the Olympics, no it is not a great and successful Olympics with no pollution and the US winning the medal count (well I kind of want the US to win the medal count), because I just don't think that is possible. I personally think that there will be no serious problems during the Olympics except for an event or two being canceled because of the persistent pollution that they have not been able to control yet, and also the media complaining about their freedom of speech issues. But really freedom of speech is of overrated. But What I want want of the Olympics is for someone to take a picture of me with one of the paramilitary people while they are riding a segway. If someone could help me with that, that would be super. Also it would be super if someone could explain to me the difference between the police, the paramilitary, and the military. Because as far as I can tell, the police don't really do anything, but stand around and direct traffic sometimes. I don't think I have ever seen a police officer pull someone over. I don't have a licenses like Golze so I don't know all the laws, but I am pretty sure I have seen Chinese people at least break someone of them in front of the police. They at the very least did not put the jar over the guys intestines right when they were poking out, the police could have written a ticket for that. The odds of me seeing at least one paramilitary office on segway is good, because there have been an explosion of security around Beijing. I just have not seen one on segway yet, I figure it a matter of time.

Highlight of the Day: Thinking about paramilitary on segway while they listen to Safety Dance, wouldn't that be an amazing sight to see.?

"The advertisements are the most truthful part of a newspaper"

According to my number one source of accurate information, wikipedia, the Business Standard is a financial newspaper from India. And from the one article that I have read, this newspaper seems to be a diamond amongst Indian newspaper ruff. They deserve an Emmy for their first rate journalism. Right now, many people are wondering, "why is he talking about some newspaper in Indian, WTF." Well, I say WTF indeed. After not looking at our Big Brother information site in a while, yesterday, I decided to check it out and see if people still actually read our blog and I was shocked to find out that the Business Standard has people that might, but doesn't seem like, who read it. They have featured us in their online newspaper for an audial world. Here is an excerpt from what the newspaper said about us, "Clark." I know what you are all thinking, "Clark, WTF, does this newspaper even have fact checkers, I am wearing a $5000 dollar suit, come on!" Truly, if they used the word Clark and our blog, they have not actually been reading it. This is why I only read news sources by Rupert Murdoch, they have the highest standards in journalism. The only other thing I had a problem with when they described our blog, is that they said it was "A far more typical expat blog," me personally, I would have added another far, because really we are writing about nothing like all the other expats who feign self importance. I can't comment on what he said about the content of our blog, because in all actuality, we don't actually we read the blog post that we write, we just actually write them, then actually post them, on an actual basis (the last one didn't make sense). I w

Highlight of the Day: Being reminded that I live in Communist China. The first actual (I like that word) reminder came yesterday, when I went to what I thought was the last surviving DVD shop in my area, the Tuan, and found out that all the bootleg foreign DVDs they once had, all became bootlegged Chinese DVDs. Needless to say the DVD shop was complete void of foreigners. The second reminder came, this morning when I woke up at 7am on a Saturday, something I never do, to go to wukesong, which is in the middle of the wild west part of Beijing, to buy tickets for Olympic Basketball. I was excited because today they were going to be selling a USA basketball day. However, upon my arrival there was not that many people standing in line. One of the first signs that something was up. Once I got to the front of the gate, to see what the hell was going on, there was a sign that said that they sold all the tickets yesterday. And twenty minutes later a volunteer for the Olympics comes and says all the tickets sold yesterday. This doesn't sound unusual, but, this weekend they were only supposed to sell certain days each day and all the days at once. But because of a change in some policy that was made on the spot that day while they were selling tickets, they decided to sell everything at once. This is some bush league Olympic organizing, come on! The third thing just happened 30 minutes ago when I tried to write this blog. Normally, we have complete access to writing our blogs on blogspot, we just can't read them after we write them, unless we use a proxy. However, today, I couldn't even get access to write the blog. A sign that the gov't is cracking down on the information flow. Maybe, I should not even be writing this post. So I will end with, hey the Chinese government is great though, keep up the good work.

out of my way! i'm a motorist!

look out beijing. this morning i passed the written driver's test and will be getting my license on friday. a cool souvenir? yes, but not at all worth the hassle. the traffic management bureau is located way out in the boondocks, outside the southeast fourth ring road. i had to haul myself out of bed at 6:30 this morning, take a shower in the dark (roommate forgot to pay the electricity), bike to work to grab my test registration then catch a cab out to the bureau. when i got there everybody was standing/squatting in the shade outside, since they hadn't opened yet and it was hot as hell already. i was not the only one cramming from the official study guide.

eventually they let us into the air conditioned foreign affairs waiting room and finally at 9:00 upstairs to the testing room, a big hall with a bunch of computers set up at separate desks. everybody chose their specific language and off we went. there were a good amount of people there, all different nationalities. just like the dmv in the us, the traffic management bureau has the effect of bringing all elements of society together, though expatriate society in this case. i generally live in spend time in the part of town where western europeans, north americans and british commonwealth citizens hang out. the russians have their own corner near ritan park and the koreans all live up in lidu. but when it comes down to it, everybody has to slog out together to deal with the psb.

but it seemed like most people passed, which was surprising because the test was pretty difficult. i don't think there's any way i could have passed without studying. think you have what it takes? check out some actual questions straight from the study guide below. answers are in the comments.

1. In summer, when a driver drives a vehicle he can _____.
A. wear a pair of slippers
B. not wear slippers since it's unsafe and impolite to wear them
C. wear any shoes, including slippers

2. For an open abdominal wound, such as protrusion of the small intestine tube, we should:
A. put it back
B. no treatment
C. not put it back, but cover it with a bowl or jar, and bind the bowl or jar with a cloth belt

3. Except for tractors, battery cars and utility vehicles, when drivers encounter foggy, rainy, snowy, sandstorm or hailstone weather, and the visibility is less than 50m:
A. they should stop and not drive
B. the must drive no faster than a maximum speed of 30km/hour.
C. they should drive quickly and watch closely.

4. When pass through a section of road that does not have a sign forbidding blowing the horn and a situation calls for using the horn, a driver should:
A. blow the horn.
B. englarge the sound volume of the horn.
C. Blow the horn as less as possible.

5. When there is some disagreement with others, a driver:
A. should call the other names.
B. should discuss the situation with patience, and not allow a bad mood to affect driving.
C. can drive with rage

6. Drivers should:
A. deliberately underestimate each other.
B. compete for road supremacy.
C. learn and help each other, adopt one's strong point while over coming one's weak point and keep safely driving.

UPDATE: i forgot to mention this above, but in the testing hall there was this big red LED screen that scrolled instructions alternating in chinese and english. at the end of the english section (and i assume the chinese too, though i didn't read it) was a series of exhortations about the importance of following the law. while i don't remember exactly, they followed the line of "the law of road traffic safety is your guardian angel on the road," and "everybody shall harmoniously follow the law of road traffic safety." a true communist moment in a city increasingly devoid of them.

Apparently Some Chinese People Melt in the Rain

Today, was the first day in a long time that I took the subway to work, normally I walk or ride my bike which happens to be significantly faster. But, because it was raining this morning (which I think has only happened once since I have been in Beijing, makes me think the gov't has something to do with it), I decided I would take the way that would make me least wet and because all the cabs were taken (and when I say that, I mean probably all the cabs in the city), I chose to take my second best option, the subway. I must say the subway is much nicer than when I first arrived in Beijing. The cars are new, they installed a new system for taking tickets and everything seems polished and shiny for the Olympics, even the exits signs have changed, which is kind of a bad thing because they used to have landmarks on them and now they don't, but I am sure that will come back. After noticing that, the next thing I noticed is that I missed my train, actually I noticed all that after I missed my train, but 3 minutes later another one came. I don't know if this is true, but I think they are running more trains, either for the Olympics or because they plan to take a number of cars out of the traffic system or because of both.

Anyway, the reason I think Chinese people might melt in the rain is because after getting to my stop. I go to exit and there is a long mass of people at the end of the stairway, blocking everyone who is trying to exit and get to work. They are all just standing there under the awning, trying not to get rained on, as if the rain touches them they will melt. This has lead me to the conclusion that there is just to many damn people in this city and I am glad that they got rid of half the expat population here. Now they just need to get rid of these Chinese people who melt in the rain and block traffic flow. My suggestion is that they throw them in one of the rivers around Beijing. If they don't melt by the water, they will be eaten alive by the mosquitoes or the toxins that make the rivers bright green. But then again maybe these people are smart not going out in the rain, who knows whats coming down in that stuff.

life in the second tier

i just got back to beijing from xi’an, where i was doing research for our second tier city reports. some may remember i have actually been there before, and it was interesting going back not as a tourist. i think the disparity is especially striking in xi'an, because the nearby terracotta warriors make it one of the stops on almost every standard china tour. as a tourist, you basically only get a glimpse of your hotel, the city wall and the area around the drum and bell towers in the center of town, though depending on your budget you may also see the train station and the numerous prostitutes around the cheap hotels.

i also lucked out in that my colleague who accompanied me is from xi'an originally, which meant that two of the three nights i was there i got to meet various members of her family, and got the classic china treat of being almost forcibly stuffed full of homemade dumplings by a kindly old chinese lady. the trip was quite a workout for my chinese as well, which i appreciated, though i managed to duck out of many over-my-head conversations by eating and/or playing with my coworker's four year-old cousin. him i could mostly understand.

like in my trip to hangzhou a few months ago, the increased number of cars was quite obvious. our hotel was on the major shopping street in the middle of town, which i vaguely remember from before, but what i don't remember was the cars parked all over the sidewalk. the air quality was significantly better than beijing, as all three days i actually cast a shadow. one guy i met told me that the air has gotten much better recently since the government forced the chemical industry out of town (to somewhere like lanzhou, no doubt), but i don't particularly remember the air being bad last time around. maybe tyler or clark knows.

most time was spent outside of the city walls, but there isn't too much interesting to say about that unless you were terribly interested in xi'an real estate, in which case you can shell out for our reports. needless to say, xi'an looks just like some regular city outside the tourist areas, with a lot of construction and some good stuff going on and some poorly thought out stuff going on. they're building a subway line right now, which i think is not totally necessary but like everywhere in china the critical mass of people exists to make it work.

one more interesting tidbit: xi'an must be hurting from the visa ridiculousness. our quite nice four-star hotel rooms only cost RMB 400 per night (about 58 bucks), and that was after the manager gave us a discount. mind you this is during july, prime international tourist season, and in a centrally located hotel in perhaps the biggest tourist spot in china after beijing and shanghai. the hotel didn't seem particularly crowded either. poor, poor xi'an.

the super flavor enhancer

so yesterday in the supermarket i found what i had previously searched for, then forgot i was looking for, then remembered to look for but never when i was in the store, the magical asian spice that adds that mysterious sixth flavor, what you eat in every chinese restaurant even if they tell you you're not: weijing AKA monosodium glutamate AKA MSG. i just added it into the sausage-tomato-eggplant-chive egg scramble that is my go to meal when i cook for myself. it was delicious. i'm never going back.

rocking out at the drive-in

friday afternoon was interesting. upon returning to the office after the boondoggle that was submitting my driver's license application, one of my co-workers asked me to help her adjust the height of her chair. i initially thought she just wanted me to point out the lever, but it turned out that she wanted me to do it for her because she was too light to make the chair go down herself. then, walking to the gym after work, i passed by a crowd of people watching a filipino cover band sing "rocky mountain high."

anyway, on friday night i went to see one of two nights of an annual indie rock festival put on by a local record label. a (government seeded) thunderstorm rolled through town right before the show, which helped cool things off and made the lawn at the venue rather attractive. so between every set the crowd would roll outside to drink beer and eat chuanr.



the bands were all fairly good, even though only one of five was on the original bill. a group called the linga that i'll liken to a chinese franz ferdinand stole the show. you can see a poor quality video of them playing below (still trying to figure out my camera).

the crowd was mostly expats, and relatively small, though i think comparable to rock shows around beijing, and i ended up chatting with a nice guy from france for most of the night. but the arrival of the olympics crowd has clearly begun. i heard a couple of guys talking loudly about how surprised they were about how free life was in china, how they loved it and wanted to live in beijing, and how you should go down to yangshuo were you could teach english and rock climb and party and do crazy drugs all the time. one said he was working for nbc.




so in all i've been pleasantly surprised by the quality of live rock music in beijing, though i also get the feeling that it's easy to see it all fairly quickly. the popular local bands seem to rotate between several venues every couple of weeks, and out of town bands are probably hit or miss, with no real way to listen to them beforehand.

ADDENDUM: as for the name of this post, the venue was inside the entrance to a drive-in movie theater.

more subway silliness

so since i got here in the subway stations there have been these ticket machines, some wrapped in plastic and others saying out of order. in guomao, which is the central business district station where i work, there have been about twenty of them sitting there at one end of the station. also, ticket gates were installed but not in use, the gates were just opened and you checked your ticket or swiped your card at the top of the stairs. but last monday that all changed! the ticket machines and gates were put into operation.

almost everybody uses the stored-value IC cards, because it's a whole lot easier when you commute than buying tickets every time. however, of the twenty-something ticket machines, only one, that's right, one, allows you to add value to your card. at all the rest you can only buy single-use tickets. i can not for the life of me figure out why they did that.

a weekend in tokyo

So sorry it's been a while since I've wrapped at ya. As some of you may know, last weekend I went to Tokyo, taking advantage of Monday's national holiday (Dragon Boat Festival. I know, awesome, right?) and some vacation to make a four day weekend. So all my time previously had been taken up by getting ready to go to Tokyo then settling back into life here.

Since I seem to have a neurotic obsession with the way people behave on public transportation, the first thing I noticed upon arriving in Tokyo station was that people stand on the left of the escalator. They do drive on the left side of the road there as well, so that kinda makes sense. But my roommate (from England) assures me that in Britain they stand on the right. I'm not sure which is weirder, actually. Anyone know what they do in India or Australia?

The evidence

The Tokyo subway is quite nice. However, it is not nearly as crowded as I was led to believe. I'm sure it's bad during rush hour, which I didn't experience I don't think, but almost every time we rode the train we got a seat. In Beijing that only happens late at night. Actually, by and large I was surprised by how Tokyo is not nearly as crowded as Beijing. Certain parts were packed, like Shibuya, where that have that enormous intersection with thousands of people, and Akihabara, where that guy stabbed and killed a bunch of people last Sunday (I was there on Saturday. Phew.) But sometimes we would walk around a pretty central neighborhood and there would be nobody. Here in Beijing there are people everywhere.

The back streets of Shibuya

Shibuya station

A jellybean octopus

I saw two shrines, Asakusa and Yasukuni. The first is just a nice shinto shrine with some touristy stuff around and a giant bell. I made a donation and got my fortune, which was good (but not great, apparently). The latter is the shrine for dead imperial soldiers, sort of like Arlington. The Chinese get really pissed when anyone from the government makes an official visit there, since it also honors a good number of war criminals(from the Chinese point of view) from WWII. Not surprisingly, the accompanying museum made little mention of events such as the rape and murder of tens of thousands of civilians in Nanjing.

Hard-core nationalism at Yasukuni

Yasukuni

Asakusa

The food was great. I asked my friend to take me to eat some more food that wasn't sushi or teppanyaki. So I had some tempura-style pork chops and stuffed eggplant, some good ramen, a burger with a bun made out of grilled sticky rice, and these chopped vegetable and meat pancake things topped with mayo and (I think) teriyaki sauce.

Ramen town in the Shinyokohama Ramen Museum

I-don't-remember-the-name being cooked

Done! and slathered with mayo and sauce

My first meal in Tokyo

Overall, Tokyo is extraordinarily modern and comfortable. Even without speaking any Japanese you can get around pretty well, it's all clean, you can get anything you need, the people are all beautiful, etc. But I really don't think I'd be as happy there as in China. There's a certain excitement that comes from being in China, and a certain edge that Tokyo just doesn't really have. Of course there's a lot of bullshit you have to deal as well, like government hassles, people trying to scam you, crowds and traffic and pollution. But I think it's well worth the trade-off. Plus I couldn't afford to live in Tokyo anyway.

Art in the alleys in Roppongi

Tokyo at night

stadiums galore

So last Friday I went to see a track and field event at the big fancy Olympic Stadium with my office, and took a bunch of pictures but forgot to put them up. The event was the China Athletics Open, basically a bullshit track and field invitational of almost entirely Chinese athletes so that Olympic organizers could test everything out with the stadium. The highlight was seeing Liu Xiang, the world record hurdler, compete in a semi-final heat. Right before the runners set he switched jerseys from the local Shanghai team to the China Olympic team jersey. He was broadcast on the big screen and when he took off his shirt you could literally hear every woman in the stadium twitter with excitement. It was also a really smoggy day, which you can see in some of the pictures even inside the stadium.







For comparison, check out the north gate of Worker's Stadium, built back in the late 50s I believe and the venue for the soccer games. It's actually fairly large, seats about 80,000, and was the host of many a mass rally during the Cultural Revolution during the 1960s. I live right across the street from here.

Correction!

It is Sanlitun, and not Sanlituan. Thanks for pointing that out. However, it will still from here on out be known as The Tuan and the reason for this will be first because it sounds better to me than Tun and second, well there is no second. If you want something creative just say I combined the tu from tun with the an from san to get Tuan, The Tuan.

Where Did All the Blockbusters Go?

In China, the equivalent to Blockbuster Video is the bootleg DVD shops. And as I mentioned before they are all closing because of the Olympic crack downs, I also mentioned that the only one that is probably open is in The Tuan (The Tuan is Sanlituan and from here on out and forever going forth will only be known as The Tuan), but I was so wrong about that, well...sort of. The other day, I went to The Tuan to meet the Golzer for some drinks at Saddle, more about that in like five more sentences. But because I arrived early, I had some time to kill and decided to check out the DVD story that is pretty popular in The Tuan, well it used to be anyway. Upon arrival, I look in and the place looks almost completely empty, except for a few Chinese DVDs in the front of the store. I see this lone girl standing, in the store and ask her where are all the dvds. She looks at me looks outside left to right and the says follow me. As I am following her and not knowing where she is taking me except that I can tell it is to the back of the store to some room, she is constantly looking over here shoulder. I am like okay, this is shady, but whatever its China. We go threw one door that leads outside and then another that looks like an apartment and through this apartment looking door is pretty much where the whole DVD store has moved to. It looks almost exactly like the old store accept the room is slightly more narrow. I think they were working on a secret knock when I left.

After learning the secret knock, I met the Golzer at Saddle. It is this new hip new Mexican place. That I have kept seeing from Kokomos and could never figure out exactly how to get to it. The entrance is hidden by the blatantly obvious. I heard from someone one who heard from someone else that a Mexican said it is the best Mexican food in Beijing. So I will take that is fact. And it is definitely the best authentic Mexican food I have had in China. What makes the place great is not its nice outdoor seating and not even its bucket of 5 Sol beers for 100 kuai (which I don't think is that great of a deal), but what makes the place great is on Tuesdays, they have special for three big ass tacos for 40 kuai. And you get your choose of chicken, beef, poor, or veggie filling. The veggie filling was my favorite. Definitely, a good place to go on a Tuesday to have a quick drunk happy hour. If you go, make sure you go with Jimmy, he's crazy.

Today, I had a nice debate something I have absolutely no idea about, like most of the the time, with a Chinese female colleague, who is probably much more knowledgeable about the subject because she has a kid, about pregnancy. We were having a debate about how long pregnancy last. I was saying like I was taught in health class that pregnancy last 9 months and she was saying like she was probably told from her doctor when she was pregnant or from experience that it last 10 months. And I was like no way that is crazy, why do Chinese people stay pregnant longer? I was like in the states it is 9 months. I was like how are Chinese people different? But finally after another female colleague chimed in who recently had a baby and googling it, the correct answer is 40 weeks which translates to about 9 months and ten days depending on a leap year. So we were both wrong, but I was more right if you round.

Highlight of the Day: My sister finally turned 35 and I can't wait to make fun of how old she is.

some thoughts about beijing traffic

So everybody's heard about how bad the traffic is here. Of course, living in the Bay Area and Washington, DC, I've been stuck in worse traffic. But I think what's striking is how fast it's gotten bad, as more and more Chinese people get rich enough to buy cars. Even three years ago we would hop in a cab and haul ass across the entire city. Now the roads seem full of cars almost 24 hours a day.

However, I am convinced that the vast majority of traffic is caused by simple bad driving. I mean, Beijing really doesn't have all that many cars, only 129 private vehicles per 1000 people, compared to 455 for the Bay Area and 338 in the New York City metro area. (I actually went out and calcuated these numbers from census data. That's how much I care about this blog.)

The problem is that Beijing drivers, especially the ones driving private cars, haven't been driving for very long. For example, I don't know why, but there is this obsession with backing into regular spots. I guess it makes it easier to pull out, but I think driving straight in and then backing out is easier overall. There's also a lot of parallel parking going on, because not many parking lots have been built and so a lot of parking is on the street (or in the bike lanes). Remember how hard it was to do this stuff when you were 16? Basically you've got a city full of 16-year-olds. Luckily in China cheap labor abounds, so there is an army of parking attendants whose main job is to shout at people about to back into somebody else's Audi.

And this all translates onto the road itself. People driving too slow, cutting people off, deciding to turn right from the left-turn lane, etc. Throw in cabbies and bus drivers, all of whom know how to drive and yet drive like maniacs, and you've got a dangerous mix.

At the same time, pedestrians just don't quite help either. Instead of waiting for the light to change, they all continously edge into the street, often forcing three lanes of traffic down to one. Just so, what? you can save five seconds when the light actually does turn green? And risk getting run over by a cement truck because there is an absolute universal disregard to stopping for a right turn on a red light? Bikers are worse, because bikes are so big. It's not unusual to see some old lady just kind of hanging out in the middle of an intersection, blocking several buses.

Durrell said that he's surprised at how many accidents he doesn't see, and I have to agree.

The Olympics Are Screwing Things Up for My World

Although I found out that I have Olympic tickets to all the Track and Field finals, I am still unhappy about what the Olympic in Beijing is doing to my way of life here in China. They seem like minor things but they are major for me. The first one that I have slow noticed is happening and complete turned my world up side down is the fact that the DVD stores are no long selling the cheap bootlegged copies that they were once selling. Because of China's crack down on the shops many of the stores are selling more expensive copies, at least many of the stores around where I live. I am sure I can still go to Sunlituan and find some bootlegs, but I am not even sure how long that will last and I can always buy from the guy standing on the corner but he doesn't live near me and I don't no much about his quality.

The second thing that I noticed and I knew was going to be a problem , but I didn't expect it so soon. Is that the bars are so crowded now. I don't know exactly if it is an Olympics influence or just because it was sunny this weekend or because there was a birthday part. But my favorite bar was so crowded and I couldn't even get on the terrace. And I am not sure if all the terraces were like this, but I am positive during the Olympics it is going to be like this. I got make sure that I found some hidden bar that no one is going to know about. But with so many people coming, I doubt that will happen.

And another thing is the visa problems that are being caused by the Olympics. It is causing so many people to have to leave, which also causing so many going away parties, and part of the reason the bars are crowded. If the government would have not changed the rules for visas, I wouldn't have to go to so many going away parties and not have to keep making new friends. It's so annoying.

I had something else to complain and ramble on about, but I forgot it. So we can stop here.

Non-Highlight of the Day: Sending Audrey to the graveyard, I am sure in some way her death has to do with the Olympics as well.

Off to the 9th or 12th Ring

Today or yesterday, depending on when I finish writing this blog, I went to the Summer Palace which is way the hell out there in Beijing, some where around like the 9th or 12th ring of Beijing. The area is shrouded in dust and the remains of giants. It looks much like what you think Beijing looked like in the old days, like in 1990. I am not talking about the Summer Palace but the area around it like the little streets adjacent to it. But besides the copious amounts of dust, that makes it seem you are in a wild wild west movie, it is a cool area. It makes you feel like you are really in China, obviously the CBD is China but doesn't feel like the China experience. Out here in the 9th ward (really like the 5th or 6th ring) it feels more like small town China, with its open area fruit and vegetable market and other misc thing market and small shops.

The Summer Palace was totally BOOK. It didn't really go inside the actually buildings of the Summer Palace but spent most the time hanging out on a pedal boat. It reminded of me being on Lake Washington in the summer time. Parts of the Summer Palace even look a little bit like Seward part except with a lot more Chinese people everywhere. There where not that many white people yet (this will probably bring even more people searching that to our blog, which brings me to another point, as more and more people use the internet or the information gatherer as I like to call it, more and more people are searching very unusual stuff to gain access to our site. I have mentioned this before, but the newest and strangest thing they are searching is "was just visiting you didn't have to do him like that," it is by far the most searched thing to get access to our site. I am not sure why someone is searching this, but if you are the one, I am sorry to inform you, we are probably not the site you are looking for), because its not quite tourist season. Anyway, hanging out on the lake at the Summer Palace is a great way to spend a sunny afternoon and the dust that blows relentlessly in that area doesn't really attack you on the lake, so its a great hang out on sunny day.

Blogs latest post reminded me of how long it takes me to put two and two together. I forgot that my Aiyi is from Sichuan and that her family might be in harms way. So, I sent her a text message, to see how her family is doing. All of them are doing okay, but she says that her house is about to cave in. So if you want to send me money to give her to help her with her problem, I will use it to pay her salary the rest of time I am here, so you can help me and her at the same time.

Highlight of the Day: The banana chocolate chip pancakes I made and hanging out on the lake.

three minutes of something

As I'm sure you've all heard by now, Monday was the first day of three days of mourning for the earthquake victims. At 2:28 there was supposed to be a nationwide three minutes of silence...except...anything with horns was supposed to blow said horn. Cars, boats, (trains and planes?). So a very loud three minutes of silence.

The result was one of my more bizarre experiences here. We went outside with thousands of other of office workers in the area, and sure enough right at 2:28 on the dot the various security guards and police around removed their hats and the cars, all of which had stopped in preparation, honked their horns. There was some speculations as to whether they could keep it up for the entire three minutes, but they did. One cab driver nearby was honking already because of all the stopped cars. Or maybe he was just overeager. Most people bowed their heads and at least a few were crying. It was strangely impressive.

Our maid, like many in the big cities in China, is from Sichuan. Her family is alright apparently, though she said their house was something, then made a kinda wobbly motion with her hand. Which probably means they've had to move out.

Sorry it's been a while since I've rapped at ya, but things have been busy in the casa de Ben. More in depth posts will be coming soon, but I thought I'd treat you to the most boring post in the history of the blog: a series of pictures of intersections in Beijing.











Those who got this far get a brief tidbit： I got a new computer today at work, but the clock was two hours fast, something I noticed but eventually forgot, until I got home and realized that I had accidentally left work almost an hour and a half early.

Tailors and Tragedies

I think my tailored made suit went pretty successful. It is not perfect by any means, if you look close you can tell that they made it kind of rushed and I am eager to see how long it holds up. But it is pretty nice for a three button suit, even though I should have took the Golzer's advice and went with a two button. I think It would have looked much better as a two button. What do you think of me trying to get my Obama on?

The total cost of the suit with two tailor made shirts (I got French cuff dress shirts and I am not quite satisfied with the result, next time I will get regular shirts or bring a shirt to copy) was a total of 1050 RMB and if goes math is right, which it is always is that's about $150 dollars depending on the exchange rate. I think that is a good deal for two shirts and suit. If you like what you see, and I mean the suit not me, (I know I like good, I love me some me) go check out the third floor of Yashou. Maybe you can find the tailor we used, I am not going to tell you which one because if people keep accidentally reading this blog and actually take my advice, they might just go and our tailor might starting raising the price on us. And that's not what this blog is intended for, it is definitely not intended to make things in China more expensive for me.

Something that I have noticed that I didn't think was the case when I was first here in 2005 is that Chinese are more willing to donate money to certain causes. Maybe I didn't notice because there was not huge disasters when I was here last time, but many people have been giving money to help with the relief, well when I say many people all the people in my office who were there when they were going around collecting money. I think maybe I am naive and this has been going on for a long time, but I am pretty sure it is a new thing that goes a long with the growing discretionary incomes When, I tried to ask about it, I got answer that did not go along with my theory so I largely ignored it. The answer was that in the last earthquake many Chinese gave what they could, but that was 1976 and the country was not nearly as prosperous as it is today. So, I will just go with my original theory no matter how wrong it is.

But speaking of things that don't change, the Chinese superstitious tradition is still alive and well. I was hearing from some of my Chinese colleagues that the Olympics partly to blame because of this. It was all in jest, but still interesting. There are people saying because the Olympics is on 8/8/08 at 8pm, the tragedies have happened because of this. Since there is four 8 there will be four tragedies, so far three have happened: the earthquake, the snowstorms, and the protest. I am interested to see what the fourth will be. So far none of the tragedies have happened in Beijing or in the North. I guess the North is next.

Highlight of the Day: Being completely wrong but still getting a home cooked dinner.

Tectonic Plates Collide

Today was very interesting to me and it reminded me that I have forgotten almost everything I have ever learned in grade school and that I am probably not smarter than a fifth grader. I say this because today there was an earthquake and I just sat there in my chair first trying to figure out why i felt a shaking my chair, then once I realized it was an earthquake, I spent the next few seconds trying to figure out how to say earthquake in Chinese. I ended up blurting out 战争(zhanzheng, war) instead of 地震 (dizhen, earthquake), man my Chinese really bad. But instead of what I have been formally trained to do a million times growing up on the West Coast (that is get under your desk) I just sat there like a dummy. And when my Chinese colleagues all began to say lets get the hell out of here. I almost followed them downstairs. I am not sure if I should have followed or not, but I opted to stay, mainly because I do know you are not supposed to take an elevator during an earthquake and I wasn't going to walk down 18 flights of stairs, so I thought it be wiser if I stayed in the building. Plus stuff can fall on your head outside, which is how I justified my stay. Anyway, the interesting part was watching everyone in my office and the surrounding offices run out their offices and start to leave the building. As me, the lone foreigner stayed in the building like an idiot. I think that they most have remembered their earthquake training better than I, considering the fact they all did the same thing and got the hell out of there.

But rumor has it that between 10pm and midnight another earthquake is going to strike Beijing between 2-6 magnitude. Which has so of my friends who have not lived in earthquake prone areas worrying. I try to tell them I have farted 6.0 earthquakes but they don't take any comfort in that. But if these are my last words, I just want to say it has been a great run and I want to leave you with this pearl of wisdom...well I couldn't think of anything clever so I guess I am just going to leave you with nothing, but know this the la duzi has been worth it most of the time, except last night. Last night it wasn't really worth it, the food was just okay.

On a brighter note, I can't wait to go to the refitting of my suit tonight.

And on a completely different note, a while back step up google analytics for our blog. It is amusing to see what people search to get directed to our blog. Right now, one of the top searches that gets our blog to show up on google is "white people in china." But here are a list of some of my favorites that gets our blog to show up:

"awesome sunglasses"
"threesome experience"
"annies dirty feet video"
"are there a lot of stairs in china"
"can you start a sentence with ironically" (I like this one, because I often do)
"China peeing"

By making this list I probably am just going to get more people to come to this blog who are searching these things.

Springtime for Mao

I guess since we made it on the NPR blog role (I must be old because I have to admit, I am a big fan of NPR), the only thing left to do is attack the big time China blogs and make them put us on their list. I think if Clark keeps up with his hard hitting journalism we will be on all the big time blog is no time. Time and Danwei you are next, it's only a matter of time before you respect my illiterate musings.

Last week, I finally arrived back to Beijing and after almost three weeks of being away. And I must say it is great to be back and a lot has changed. First, even though when I first landed I thought it was it was snowing, but for the most part that white stuff and from the trees has completely stopped, at least inside the third ring. It might still look like it is snowing out near the airport. But being back has been great excluding today and yesterday, because it has been so warm here, not warm like it is in the summer, where I hear it is unbearable hot, but warm like the spring. Spring has finally come to Beijing. Another thing that has happened, at least it seems that way to me, is that Beijing has become so much more luscious and greener. The trees are so full now, like they never new pollution existed in this city. Also, its seems like the streets are must cleaner than when I left. And the biggest changed that I have noticed is how rapidly buildings are being completed. When I left so many buildings were not as nearly on their way to completion as they are now. Certain parts of the city I didn't even notice. Even behind my apartment building looks completely different. It is amazing how fast they can throw a building up.

On another note, the Golzer seems to know more about the Beijing after a month than I do after 8. This weekend when I was hanging out with him, he took me on a fun advantage of the city. We went and got some suits and shirts made. Oh, on a side note, while we were picking out fabric for the suits and shirts there was this guy in the booth next to us talking about kicking Americans, I am not sure of the whole story, but when he can to the part about kicking the Americans he seemed really angry at whatever provoked it and very happy with the kicking of them, I mention this because like I said before Nancy Pelosi is making it hard to be an American in China, it's all your fault Nancy. We also went on a bike ride to a place called the Drum and Bell cafe, it gets to thumbs up for awesomeness and one of my new favorite spots. I really need the Golzer to show me more of the city. Last weekend was also fun because the Golzer and I tried to string some yarn across from his apartment to mine so that we could speak to each other through two tin cups, and when I say try, I mean suggested the idea and the Golzer shot me down, due to the fact there is an enormous whole in the ground between our two buildings.

Highlight of the Day: They brought back the fresh melon to the cafeteria.

welcome npr listeners!

Yes, you read that right. For some reason, we've been listed as a link on NPR.org's blog related to an upcoming broadcast of All Things Considered (big fan, here) from Chengdu. We're listed second to the blog written by the China editors for TIME magazine. It's sort of embarrassing; I mean, I'm writing about drinking all night in Hangzhou and posting videos that don't even work. Though I think we all know the real reason for such an honor: Clark's many insightful posts. Clark, don't change what you're doing. It's apparently brought us enormous success.

shanghaied once again

this past weekend was the may day holiday. we got thursday and friday off, so i decided after much deliberation to take off to shanghai, to visit my friend emily, and hangzhou, to visit middlebury kids and former teachers, etc. i got back to beijing close to midnight sunday night dirty, disheveled and a mere shell of the man i used to be. here are some highlights and deep thoughts about the trip, in no particular order:

1. those who know me well know that i refuse to either take or be a part of pictures in which people have to lean in to fit in the frame. this types of pictures are most common among college girls, usually taken in the dorm room before going out. that being said, the people in the video below clearly do not know me very well. see if you can figure out when i indicated i was actually filming them. but the video actually works on so many levels. make sure you also listen to the background, where you can hear the inimitable jefferson egging on the crowd.

UPDATE: here is a link for all the haters who can't see the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkUo4hUi1yI

2. this is a long highlight, so i will continue it here. jefferson is the nigerian owner of co-co club in hangzhou, where we spent from about 1:00AM to 5:15AM on saturday (because we were too cheap to get a hotel room). we attempted to leave around 3:00, but were easily swayed by a free bottle of absolut. jefferson decided to call me spiderman, because i was wearing a sweatshirt with the hood up, and referred to himself as superman. i didn't argue.

3. compared to beijing, the shanghai subway is much less civilized, to use the parlance of our times. people shoving to get on before anyone even gets off and the escalators are simply a mess. as all my former teachers in hangzhou mentioned, i'm much thinner than i was three years ago. that's actually because i've been adhering to a strict weight loss diet in order to sharpen my elbows, but i've yet to put them to use in beijing.

4. so the question: is a two hour flight from shanghai to beijing 4.5 times better than a 13-hour overnight hard seat train ride? yes, absolutely. especially during the holiday. upon getting on the train in beijing the car was so crowded with standing-only passengers it literally took me twenty minutes to get from one end of the car to the other where my seat was. easily one of the roughest trips of my life, second only to that yunnan sleeper bus ride i wrote about years ago (after reviewing past posts, all i said was that it was quite horrible. and it was). also, even though i had to sit next to a fat american tourist on the plane (what are the chances?), it's worth it to keep greasy college kids from sleeping on you.

trying on the local fashions. too much arm? i think i look a bit cheap

5. i spent most of my time in shanghai sleeping, but i've been there before and so didn't have much i wanted to see. shanghai is a much nicer city for strolling around in. it's way more similar to a european city than beijing, it has a more "human" scale, as architects like to say. beijing is like some freakish bizarro world for giants.

so i'm back in beijing. i finally found a place to live, though can't actually move in until next week for ridiculous visa-related issues. i didn't find that out until i moved most of my stuff over there. but luckily it's really close to durrell's place so i'm sort of living in two apartments for now. but anyway, here's a picture of my building taken from durrell's. it's the hot pink one. hell yeah.

another beautiful day in beijing

Depreciating America

Its been like a month since the last time I wrote a post and a lot has happened then. For example, I am in the US now, which is a big change from my last post. But that is just for a business trip, if you didn't get to see me while I was here, that is your fault. Anyway, the picture of above is of my super sweet new bike. I told myself that I would never ride a bike in Beijing, but obviously I changed my mind. The main reason for that is because the bike was free, although I had to spend 35 kuai for a new seat, oil change, and break lines and 10 kuai for a lock. But 45 kuai is not bad for a bike. I just need to adjust the site so its no longer at the hit for an elderly Chinese woman. Much to my surprise I have found riding a bike around Beijing is not as dangerous as I first thought (the main reason why I thought I would never get one, before the bike walking around Beijing seemed dangerous enough), it as actually a great way to see the city and explore the back streets and new areas. On a bike the city seems much smaller than I ever imagined. It doesn't talk long to get to any of the places that I normally hang out at, like Houhai or Nanluoguxiang. And now I finally understand some of the geography of the city, something that was completely lost to me, riding around in cabs. I should probably take the visit of the Golzer and get a helmet but I am too cool for that. Chicks dig brain trauma.


The picture above is of the greatest meal I have ever made. Salmon with garlic bread, paired with a nice white wine. I believe it was a German riesling, but it might have been a pinot gris. I didn't make the wine so that doesn't really matter. And for an appetizer we had fried banana fries. The meal was amazing and it is why I officially announce my retirement from cooking. Like Jordan the first two times, I am going out on the top of my game. I will never be able to cook anything that good again. I know you all are sad, but it is just time.


This is a picture of A Thousand and One Nights. The humus there is amazing and so is the belly dancing. They have three belly dancers but only one is worth watching. So if you go make sure she is there. I don't know how you are going to do that, but do it anyway. And get the humus.

On to more interesting things and thoughts that I have had. Being an American right now is not very beneficial to me. Like not at all, first, I still have to pay stupid taxes, which really pisses me off because I don't live in the country and reap none of the rewards. Second, the stupid dollar keeps depreciating and causing my wealth and buying power to depreciate with it. Third, the stupid government keeps saying stuff about Tibet and the Olympics and/or people are protesting the torch relay. The latter doesn't seem like it would be a problem but it is. I keep having to answer questions like, "Why does the rest of the world hate us?" Why does America interfere in everything?" "Why don't they leave us alone?" "What does politics have to with the Olympics, it is just sport?" "Why are you giving the evil Dali Lama a Nobel Peace Prize" "Why are Americans so stupid?" along with a myriad of other questions that have to do with politics and what America does. After getting in to a debate of what I did not intend to get in to, I have learned that it is best to say I don't know or I am not there I don't what is going on. It is impossible to have a discussion on Tibet with Chinese people because they just have a completely different view. It's not that they are brainwashed like many people think, they just have a different perspective of the world and how it should be run. And the two views don't juxtapose, they come together like caesuim and water. The best thing that happened to me, is I was riding in a bus for a conference and it was full of Chinese people who discussing how the US and other countries should not boycott, and as we are discussing this and they guy next to me is asking me question and I am telling him I have no opinion, especially after he tells me he is a member of the Communist party, we stop in front of a big screen tv as Nancy Pelosi is saying Bush should boycott the Olympics. Screw being an American, I am going to become Canadian. Everybody loves Canadians for some reason.

Speaking of which the other day, on the road I walk on to work. I saw the Chinese army practicing riot fighting stuff. It was pretty interesting. They were doing round house kicks and with those large giant shields in their hands. I won't even tell you what they were doing with their billy clubs, but Rodney King is lucky he didn't live in China.

Highlight of the Day: Being in West Virginia eating donuts. I am such a fat kid.