Sunday, September 26, 2010
Laying low in Chengdu
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
A short missive from the end of the world
Monday, September 20, 2010
The Life and Death of a Little Birdie
My roommate was on her way to work, and when she opened the door she noticed a bird flying around, and for some reason that I don’t quite understand she is intensely afraid of birds (which might help to explain her lack of knowledge of what types of birds can fly, for example, ducks and geese). Instead of running for the elevator, which in hindsight would have been much more effective in terms of what happened later, she ran back in to the apartment, attempting to hide from the theoretical violent attacks of the winged creature outside the door (maybe my roommate has watched too many Hitchcock movies).
Hoping that the bird would eventually fly away, and forget all about her, she waited for a little while in the apartment, periodically checking the peep hole for the vulture that was outside her door. After looking through the peep hole and not seeing any sight of the pterodactyl, she opened the door, to find to her horror that the bird was sitting on the floor looking at her, which is why she didn’t see it in the peep hole. Then her rational mind kicked in, and she realized that this winged menace was not the threat she thought, she looked down to see a 6 inch green little birdie. Then the cuteness of this little bird clouded her mind as she let it hop toward her and eventually let it hop its way into our apartment, and once it was in the apartment it took flight and started flying all over the place. Because of the fact that she went and hid in the apartment for several minutes, instead of heading straight for the elevator, she was late for work and didn’t have time to catch the bird. So for several hours, there was an unattended bird in our apartment we are still finding the places where it cacaed everywhere, and I am sure it will be a while before we find all of them). Please refer to the timeline for the things that happened prior to this next sentence. When I got home the bird was in a cage and not looking great. After trying to soothe it and give it food, the bird only lasted about another five hours from the time I got home. In total, the bird was in our lives and our apartment for about a sixteen hour period. The lesson from this is that birds that I encounter in China have very short life spans and I don’t think that I should be getting any pets anytime soon; I am having enough trouble trying to take care of little Ben and Hey Zeus, an orange tree, I inherited.
Catching Up on the Blogging
Saturday, August 28th
Once I get home, the only thing I am worried about is my fever and only feel a slight pain in foot and leg, and a little pain in my wrist. I guess I hit my wrist on the side of the car. The pain is not intense, and I feel terrible from the flu, so I don’t think I need to go to the hospital. Anyway, I take some flu medicine and the lights go out.

After work, I went and watched kendo with my friends. It is one of the most interesting sports that I completely don’t understand. Like, I have no idea what is going on or how points are scored (I found this video of one of the final matches we watched).What attracts me most to the sport, besides watching people be bludgeoned with bamboo sticks is the random yelling. Sometimes, I like to just randomly yell things too, so this sport really interests me (in the opening seconds of the match in the video you can hear what I mean). Also watching the ceremony when they put on their gear is pretty fascinating, it is probably how traditional samurais got dressed.
My leg still hurts, but my wrist is much better.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Hitting the road
It's taken a bit of effort to get out of Xining. I stayed at a hostel and met a number of really nice people hanging out waiting to go to Tibet and/or Nepal. Hanging out with other travellers is much nicer than travelling alone. I took a one-night trip out to a nearby town called Tongren, and found myself incredibly bored/lonely at times. There's always the potential to meet other people on the road, but the way I'm travelling is pretty barren of tourists so I imagine I'll probably be alone most of the time. By and large it's fine; I can do a lot of reading and maybe a bit of self-discovery (this is Tibet, after all), but I think by the time I make it to Chengdu I'll be worn out of being alone. But we'll see how things go.
Anyway, to quickly recap the planned trip, I'll be heading from Yushu over in Sichuan to a town called Serxu, then hop through a couple of places whose exact names escape me, but include Maningango, Garzi, Kangding and others. All Tibet and all at very high altitudes (3000-4000 meters). It'll probably be a week before I make it back to civilization in Chengdu. Hopefully there'll be internet along the way and I'll put up another post before then.
Monday, September 06, 2010
hey!
linus says that in sweden you sometimes will get thousands of people attending free sessions in city parks during the summer, which must be quite a sight. there were probably about 50 people yesterday, though jeff says that's about twice as many as normal (a swedish young professionals event swelled the ranks a bit). most everybody was a foreigner or a significant other of a foreigner. of course this attracted a lot of attention from the families enjoying a late summer sunday evening in the park, but funnily enough a number of them joined in. i guess with a strong tradition of group exercises in public places, many people in beijing don't find it that odd to dance around in a big group in the park for exercise. jeff and i we speculating about where you could pull this off in the states, and decided probably only san francisco and portland, maybe new york.
so i'm back and relaxing for a week before taking off to xining in qinghai province next sunday. the flight was uneventful but the movies sucked. we left in august but arrived in september, so i think they just showed a random assortment of whatever they had on hand (goddam iron man 2 again). i went to the summer palace finally with a former coworker visiting from out of town. it's as nice as everybody says. otherwise, i've just been biking around, cooking, watching dvds and thinking about getting ready for traveling.
it's surprising how quickly i've adapted back to life here, considering that i got very used to living back in the states this summer and it was a bit hard to leave. but when i went to register with the psb, the ladies working (or sitting and chatting) behind the counter began interrogating me on the difference between butter and cream, down to how they were made. i said i didn't really know because i'm not a peasant, but i was still admonished because americans are supposed to know stuff like this. it reminded me that it's these kind of bizarre interactions that make daily life here fun, and make me glad to be back.
http://heyrobics.com/
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
if not triumphant, at least a return
i hope to post somewhat often, but i until mid-november i hope to be on the road, so access to blog posting i imagine will be limited. instead, i have jerry-rigged a relay of rss feeds that should allow me to post text messages from my mobile phone in china. with fingers crossed, the message will flip through five different web sites before ending up on my brand-spanking-new twitter account. from there, it will be launched to facebook, google buzz and a new widget on the top right corner of the blog. so basically, if you pay attention to me at all through the wonders of cyberspace (and in the case of facebook, even if you don't), you hopefully won't have to do anything. if, however, you'd like to take our relationship a step further, you can find a link to my twitter feed below:
https://twitter.com/bengeewhiz
it should be noted, however, that in all likelihood i won't have access to any of these services in china, so i won't be able to see your questions, likes and tweet-smacks at least until i get back to beijing. but i'll enjoy reading once i do finally get access, so by all means please comment like you mean it. you can also always just send me an e-mail too!
so it's so long to the land of the free. until my return, remember: if i don't see you in the future, i'll see you in the pasture.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
The Sinofied Crêpe
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Biking in Beijing: A Professional Risk Analysis
Recently, I started a new job in the research department of a real estate firm (basically taking over Golze's job, but way lower on the totem pole). Since, I am doing a lot of research, I am creating lots of bar graphs and pie charts; I have decide to use my research skills to estimate the increase danger I have put myself in since New Clark gave me his old bike, which he inherited from Clark Classic. New Clark gave me his bike without any seat on it, just a pole with springs. I guess he was just sitting on the pole and using the springs for shock absorption. I have since bought a seat for the bike (so the bike only cost me RMB 18 so far). Anyway, attached are two bar graphs that illustrate some back of the envelope calculations I have made that convey the risks associated with biking.
The first chart shows the number of times my friends or I have been in accidents while biking and walking and whether or not we were injured (whether or not they injured someone, which was the case in some incidents, is not considered). I must confess, I am the only one of my friends that I know who has been hit by a car while walking. Unfortunately, I have been hit twice, but luckily I have never been injured. I have only been hit once on a bike, and I was not injured then also. In my one bike accident and in one walking accident, I got hit by the driver because he was backing up without looking behind him, one was looking in the side mirror to back up and one was not looking at all, just using the force; I guess it was not strong with in him, he was a taxi driver by the way. So just by biking, I am three times more likely to get in an accident with a car, another bicycle, or a pedestrian. And in a bike accident, there is a 33% chance I am going to get injured. While I know this is not statistically accurate in anyway, I am convinced it reflects the reality here. And by biking, I am much more likely to die sooner rather than later. But what would life be without a little adventure. And one of the good things with my new job is that I have health insurance now and a gym membership, so now I can afford to get hit and I can build up the muscles to sustain the blows.
These numbers just come out of my imagination, but they are mostly accurate. Don't worry I don't bike every day, and I only bike sometimes with my Ipod on. So you can probably lower that number by at least 2%.
On a completely different note, I have decided to expand my door to door lawnmower sales business in to other ventures. Recently, CNN did some groundbreaking news coverage on companies who rent white foreigners. Thus, I have decided to start a company that brings other foreigners in to ask the other companies' white foreigners questions to see if they are on the up and up. I think I can go public by next march. Who wants to invest now, and get in early? I will even bring some Chinese people to my investor meeting so you know I am legit.
Highlight of the Week: This is an email message I received this week – "This is a gentle reminder that you were 3 mins late this morning. You monthly allowance for July has been used."
Monday, June 28, 2010
2 Old Visa Trips Before Leaving China
Forewarning: this is a long one. You might wanna get some popcorn.
Well, true to my intentions, New Clark has successfully replaced the absence of Clark by creating an absence of New Clark. Is there really a difference? Probably not. Regardless, I feel like sharing a bit about the last few visa runs and getting in as much blogging as possible since I'll soon be leaving China, and in the by-laws of the blog, it says only one Clark can blog per continent, so when I return to America, I'll have to relegate my blogging abilities to, "Classic Clark".
After my nearly disastrous encounter with the Visa police on that trip to Korea, I decided to play it safe for the next one, read my departure date correctly, and leave China on the my visa expired at the latest. After those uncharacteristically intelligent decisions on my part, I decided to try to go to Mongolia and see if it was all that Durrell had built it up to be, i.e. being sold into sexual slavery. I briefed myself with Durrell's blog, asked his advice, and then consulted our common MCIA friend for the real, accurately spelled, intel.
Just for clarification from Durrell's post, if you're going to purchase the tickets for the bus to Mongolia, not at the station but at a governmental building associated with Mongolia, it's the Consulate that you want to go to and not the Embassy. The military guard outside the embassy would not talk to me or answer any of my question (as if I could actually speak Chinese to him). Regardless of this initial mishap, I was able to find the consulate, purchase a bus ticket, and travel in the taxi to the bus station in southern Beijing. I don't have anything much to add to Durrell's description of the taxi ride, the location of the bus stop, and the bus ride up to Mongolia. I will say that while I was blessed with good weather, my luck did not hold out for traveling with either another foreigner or a group of Mongolian students.
As someone who has never officially studied Chinese, but now knows enough to get around and make it seem like I can actually speak it, I often get told by people who did study that, "this person can speak good English," or, "yeah, it should be no problem with the Chinese you can speak". It's probably better if those statements are taken with a very large grain of salt. I don't recommend trying to do this trip to Mongolia unless you speak Chinese fluently, or know Mongolian fluently. It just doesn't work quite as well. Sure you can get across, but you'll probably be paying extra, and people will pretend that they can't speak Chinese if you are trying to and not succeeding. Also, try to get a Chinese driver to drive you in his jeep across the border. The Mongolian ones, who are friends of the people who try to load you in a taxi right out of the bus, dawdle around all day will try to take more money than initially bargained on to cross the border. Needless to say, I left feeling like I had been fleeced, but I still got across the border safely for another two month stint in Mainland China.
However, I do feel like I've had unnecessarily bad luck when it comes to border crossings/renewal of my visa. On this particular trip to Mongolia, I was pulled aside when I was trying to leave China, owing only to the fact that I carried a passport from the U.S.. After being interrogated by the officials as to my reasons for wanting to cross (sightseeing....for an hour), and what I was doing in china (...freeloading, since I'm not supposed to be working?) I was reluctantly allowed to leave Mainland China and enter Mongolia. There were no questions upon trying to enter Mongolia, or to leave Mongolia and re-enter China. I figured that the reason they wanted to stop me from leaving was purely in the interests the man wanting to practice his English, not because I was looking shifty and could be carrying illicit contraband out of China. I came to this conclusion because even though they asked to look in my backpack, they didn't even shift stuff around and I've gotten frisked more times on my way to the bathroom than I did in that customs office.
I managed to cross safely, and then return earlier than expected into Beijing, which was due to a crazy driver who pulled us into the station around 1:30 am, which was about 5 hours ahead of schedule. But, as I have not posted in a while, this post is backdated and can now be followed up by my second visa trip to Korea. Initially, it was not supposed to be a trip to Korea, but a trip to Hong Kong, this however had to get scrapped as everything planned about the trip to Hong Kong went wrong.
I had found these really cheap tickets to Shenzhen, which is the city located right outside HK. You can fly there much cheaper than directly to HK, and take a bus from the Airport to the border for about 40 yuan and 30 minutes of travel. My flight was to leave Beijing at 8:20pm, stopover at Wuhan for the night, then continue to Shenzhen the next morning. I had also booked a similar stopover at Wuhan flight from Shenzhen back to Beijing without the overnight part. Unfortunately for me, I managed to miss my flight out of Beijing by about 5 - 10 minutes since they stop checking people in 30 minutes before takeoff. Entirely my fault. I book a second flight, this time direct, to Shenzhen from Beijing, but it leaves the next morning. I head home to crash and wake up early for it. While I make it on time for my flight's scheduled departure, it gets delayed due to heavy air traffic at Beijing International. When I arrive in Shenzhen, I have just enough time to take the bus across the border and get back to the airport to catch my original flight back to Beijing as long as nothing goes wrong.
This time I was pulled aside at the customs station due to the fact that I was one day over my allowed period of stay in China, which was on the intentional side. Poor choice when trying to cross customs at the border, as I've now learned. They didn't let me leave China, and instead made me wait for an official to talk to me. It took enough time getting someone who could explain that if I still wanted to cross I would have to sign some document, creating a permanent record on my passport that I had overstayed my welcome, or that I would have to go back to Beijing and sign some document at the immigration public security bureau. Even with the official saying that going back to Beijing would result in no penalty, it certainly still sounded like exactly the same thing. By now, I had wasted so much time in trying to cross that if I did not leave the immigration border immediately, I would miss my flight back to Beijing. Having already missed one flight, and being tired and frustrated with an official who spoke great English but seemed like a real duffer, I chose to get back onto the bus and catch my flight back to Beijing. Luckily, I was able to check in just before the check-in gates closed for my flight.
The flight from Shenzhen back to Wuhan went as scheduled. However, my flight leaving Wuhan was delayed by 4 hours, again due to congested air traffic around Beijing. The airline drove a bunch of us to a hotel, then expected us to pay for it. I decided instead to chill around the hotel and get some local food, and talk to some local Wuhanites. Whatever portion of the city we were in, it was pretty grubby and full of female pimps trying to get coin out of the foreigners. In Beijing, the people selling don't follow you around for several minutes trying to haggle prices, and so I was a little shocked and amused when this happened no less than 4 times to me. Actually leaving on my flight around 1:30 in the morning, I didn't get into Beijing until around 2:30 am, at which point none of the trains were running. Since I didn't want to shell out for a taxi, I chose instead to sleep at the airport.
My next plan of action was to sleep on my options, and see if I could get a black market visa to replace the one I was currently carrying. This didn't really pan out in the manner I wanted, and so I purchased another ticket to Korea (being my standard fallback position after my last serious mishap). Here again, at the airport, they didn't question my 3 day overstayed welcome, and I was allowed to pass through customs unhindered. Finally, with things going my way, I depart and arrive on time to Korea, sleep in the airport, and return to Beijing in the morning.
Lesson learned. If you need to cross the border and you're over by a day or two, don't be an American, and don't try it anywhere except at the airport.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Plant Update and Name Changes
Little Ben has been left in my care for the time subsequent Ben's departure from China and until I also return to the States. In the aftermath of the dropping of leaves event which will be blamed on the mild locational change from Ben's old apartment to his new apartment, Little Ben has made surprising and substantial growth. The most astonishing thing is that it seems that it is growing even better having left the 朝内北小街 area just inside the second ring, and moved out to just outside the third ring in the 朝阳公园西门 area that Durrell lives.
After many discussions of why this dramatic change has occurred, I've come this one conclusion. Solidarity.
I wanted include some pictures of the tenacious trees, but I'm not going to that. Ben will just have to use his imagination till he's surprised when he actually sees his plant again, and I'll leave the photo posting to the professional.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
stuffing ourselves with donkey meat
Thursday, May 20, 2010
brewing beer: my career advantage
this move means trying to kick-start a job search in the worst economy we'll see for generations. nice work, old clark. but i'm doing my darnedest to put my best foot forward, which includes tinkering with the old resume.
i've always struggled with the "additional" line at the bottom of the resume (reading, jogging, harry potter, etc.) what is its real purpose? what should you include? what shouldn't you include? what does the decision to include this line, at all, say about you, the job seeker? does your career ever reach a point where you outgrow the "additional" line? does your career ever reach a point where you outgrow the resume? (sec. treas. here i come!)
once in a previous job, a resume came across my desk that listed the job-seeker as a "van morrison enthusiast." this caught my eye, no doubt, and i thankfully had the chance to interview the candidate. the guy got the job and turned out to be really cool -- deserving of his self-ascribed epithet -- but i think it could have gone either way, honestly. i was simply intrigued. i also interpreted this to be a potentially cautionary tale: if you claim to be a "van morrison enthusiast," you better be a van morrison enthusiast. i would not, for example, want to sit across the table from an interviewer who thinks they are, in fact, more van morrison enthusiast than i. so how far can you actually push the "additional" line?
another problem i constantly fear is that i'm hobby-less. i'm a very interesting guy, don't get me wrong -- i just don't lend well to established "hobbies" (e.g. blogging or rooting for professional sports teams.) there's nothing wrong with this, i swear!
so after much deliberation (clearly) i left several of the painfully generic elements in my additional line untouched ("traveling, snowboarding"), but decided to spice it up some with... beer brewing.
it has been an enormous hit. after months of wondering if people actually even made it that far on my resume, i've received comment after comment about my experiences in brewing. and the fact that i did this in china makes it even that much more noteworthy -- which is standard for pretty much any ex-pat activity and/or activities performed by ex-pats.
why is this?
are there more closet brewers out there than i originally assumed? is beer brewing still a form of connoisseurship that you can discuss in broad daylight without pretension? (...tentative use of connoisseur there... which is a pretentious word in itself.)
do i care? not really -- just so long as the positive comments about my resume's "additional" line keep coming. so for all the unemployed out there, i highly recommend making a mash this weekend. you'll thank me.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
The Worstest Word You Can Say in a Movie in China
Monday, May 10, 2010
asian baseball tour 2009/2010: japan!
the game was great, and felt the most like a professional, big league game of the four countries. the soft bank hawks (fukuoka, the home team, yay!) beat the chiba marines (hiss!) in a very exciting game that included a number of home runs and one spectacular collision about five meters in front of home plate. the hawks' runner clobbered the catcher, who had only just caught the ball, sending the ball flying. the runner lay on the ground for a second, climbed up and stumbled a few steps to home before collapsing on the plate. the catcher stayed down for a while.
one interesting tradition took place in lieu of the seventh inning stretch. in the middle of the seventh inning (or after the seventh inning, i don't remember) everybody in the crowd blew up these rather phallic-shaped balloons, sang a song together, then released them into the air. a little plastic whistle was attached to the end of each balloon so that they all buzzed terrifically when let go. they also all fell on everybody's heads after. this was repeated after the end of the game as well, but with white balloons instead of yellow. i guess white stands for victory.
all in all a good time. i think of all the games i saw, the korean game was the most fun, because it had the best balance between major league professionalism and local quirkiness in the form of gimbop, giant beers and dried squid. japan felt a bit too clean and professional (the stadium was called the Yahoo! Japan Dome, for instance). the two chinese games were a blast but the enjoyment was mostly fuelled by friends and alcohol, as opposed to the quality of the game itself. taiwan was quiet and peaceful but not very exciting. now that i think about it, each of these games are pretty representative of my experiences in their host countries. maybe i should write a story about it. i'm sure i could get the nytimes to publish that crap.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
A Sighting, a Polling, and Disbelief
Post by New Clark
A while back, I happened to witness the amazing event of a Chinese fire-drill in China. I was shocked, and since I was riding my bicycle and lacked a camera, I missed out on obtaining factual support to my claim of this sighting. However, seeing this event was not what surprised me the most.
I later notified my ex-pat compatriots about my fantastic find. I found it unfortunate that I got three different reactions to this information.
"You saw a Chinese fire-drill? That's awesome! We used to do those all the time when I was a kid and we probably made all the other cars wonder what the hell we were doing." – Response by a Coloradoan
"You saw a Chinese fire-drill? What is that? I've never heard of such a thing. Is that like a regular fire-drill but in China?" – Response by a Seattleite
"Cool, I haven't seen one of those yet. Where did you see it?" – Response by a Californian
Since, of the accurate polling of the three people I told, one actively practiced Chinese fire-drills, one knew what they were, and one had no idea what it was, I thought it might be prudent to inform people what a Chinese fire-drill is.
It's where you get out of your car at a red light, run around it and then get back in your car. Why do the Chinese do this? I'm not entirely sure; I'm still working on why their popcorn is sugary and not salty. It sure tastes good though.
Monday, April 12, 2010
yes, but will my hands be so fter?
note to self: when advertising hand cream called "la mer" in a massive mall display, make sure you put a big enough space between the two words.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
quick plug for wang wen
i went to see a great dalian band called wang wen (惘闻) play last night. i saw them play when i first got here in 2008, in fact i think the first live concert i saw in china. this time they were promoting their new album L&R and put on a great show again. hopefully someday they'll get a chance to do a US tour like local beijing bands carsick cars and hedgehog did a couple months ago. if so, i highly recommend you check them out. in the meantime, you can check out their myspace page here. just watch out for the sexual predators.
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
qingming in shanghai
i won't bore you with a detailed play by play because nothing much happened. but while throwing an elbow at some chick that was in my way on the escalator when i got back to beijing, i realised it was sort of a bizarre experience, even though i had a great time. the entire thing (brunches, easter party, picnic in a park, beirut games) could have taken place in the US. for example, on monday evening before flying back to beijing i had a giant (delicious) burrito at this restaurant packed with laowai getting drunk on margaritas. i'm having a hard time believing that anywhere you can get decent mexican food counts as china. in beijing all we have is saddle cantina, where the tortillas taste like the pancakes they use with peking duck.
anyway, too much has been written about the differences between beijing and shanghai so i won't rehash that here. i will write about the bund, which just reopened to great fanfare after two years of construction. i hadn't been there for five years, and it pretty much looks the same to me, though shanghaiiers insist otherwise. i will say there are a lot more buildings over in pudong, including the glorious giant bottle opener, an apt dedication to laowai living.
on another note, the shanghai metro is expanding at a ridiculously rapid rate as they get ready for the 2010 expo to open next month. the trains and stations, especially on the new lines, are all really nice, with fancy flat screen displays and google maps-type consoles you can use to look at the area around the station. once after brunch at a popular art gallery slash cafe area, we walked out to the street right in front of a brand new metro station that my friend didn't even know existed. meanwhile, the beijing subway is burning to the ground.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
hsccwrt podcast episode 2: katja k and the bald beaver blast
episode 2: http://hsccwrt.podbean.com/mf/web/4jbbqj/20100321Episode2-FullEpisode.mp3
podcast feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/podcastHSCCWRT