Jamie, Pauley Was Just Visiting. You Didn’t Have Do Him Like That.

So in the past three days, ZUT has been the stage for two tragic deaths, one that happened this last weekend and one that happened this morning. Today started like all my regular Tuesday mornings. I forced my self to get out of bed and threw on my head phones and slowly, real slowly, made my way to my Chinese Business Language class. Upon entry, I was greeted by my teacher and Clark, the only two in the class at the time and they were talking some nonsense about how today we were going to be having a visitor. It some inside joke between them that I didn’t quite understand, but soon with some tragedy would later find out. So as I sit down and prepare to get ready for class like a good student. Jamie enters the classroom and they start talking the same nonsense to them, about how we are having a visitor in class. So finally class starts, and I am like damn its hot today, and I ask to turn on the air-conditioner. Then, next something happens that I don’t quite understand. I turn on the air-conditioner for everyone, and like 6 seconds after I do this, Jamie turns on the overhead fan. Can someone please tell me why, someone would need to turn the overhead fan on full blast if I already turned on the air-conditioner. Because I just don’t get. But, anyway as soon as Jamie turns on the overhead fan, the guest that Clark and my teacher were talking about to come out. The guest they were talking about was this beautiful green and yellow bird, the looked like a parrot or something cool like that. But as soon as the Bird came flying out Jamie starts to freak out and instead of think rationally she starts running around the classroom screaming. What she should have been doing was turning off the fan that was now on full blast. I mean really who gets scared of a bird. But anyway the bird starts flying around the room scared with no place to land and keeps getting closer and closer to the fan. I run over to the fan switch to turn off the fan. Because Jamie was just to scared to do something simple like that or something. But because the fan switch was some tricky Chinese switch, I could not turn the fan off in time. By the time the fan finally got turned off it was too late. The bird had flown straight into the fan blade and was sent like a missile across the room. I am not sure if it killed but upon hitting the fan feathers were sent flying. And the bird bounced pretty hard off the wall and it hit the floor with a thud. I didn’t see the body but I heard there was also a little blood. But however, there was still a slight chance this bird could have still been alive. But the chance was pretty much thrown out the wind when Clark decided to pick up the bird’s limp body, wrap it in a plastic bag, and throw it out of the six-story window. So if the fan blade, the wall, the floor, and lack of oxygen didn’t kill it, I am pretty sure the fall from the six-story window killed it. Rewinding a little bit, after the bird hit the fan Jamie was a little upset, so I made sure that she knew that she might not have killed the bird, and that it was Clark throwing it out the window that actually killed it. But she didn’t seem to believe and was real gloomy all class. So to cheer her up we would give example sentences about how she killed the bird. The best part of class was when we had to do a short 表演 （Biao Yan, Skit）. And the topic of our表演 was that I was trying to get a job at an insurance company for pet birds. We did the表演 in tribute to the bird and to cheer Jamie up. Lucky for Jamie, it was only Clark and I in class today, otherwise she would have really been made fun of. But to give this story some hope, at the break when we looked out the window to see if the bird was still there. We could not see the body, so maybe it was just playing dead and got up and flew away.

So remember if a bird is in your classroom don’t start the fan unless, you want some chicken nuggets.

On another note, Last night I taught my room to sing an Usher song, Simple Things. And today, I am going back to his English class to help him singing it. I will be sure not let you know how it goes when I get back.