I look sad about the Olympics but I am very happy that things in my life are going to go back to normal and I can get back to my regularly scheduled programming. What I am more excited about now that the Olympics is over is the fact that I get to see Murder Ball, half human half machines competing to the death, what could be more fun. I mean watching half humans half government sponsored freaks of nature at the Olympics was great too, but they weren't part machine, at least not on the outside. Anyway here is my Olympic recap.
As I mentioned before, the first even I got to see was boxing. Surprisingly, Olympic boxing is not as exciting as I thought it would be. Probably because they don't really go after each other like in professional boxing and also, the American boxers are pretty shitty. The highlight was definitely seeing the Ghanaian knock that dude out. Watching the one American win was also nice.
Beach volleyball is by far my new favorite Olympic sport. Whats not to like, sun, sand, and not to mention hot girls with nice bodies in bikinis? How could you not like the sport? Luckily, on this day we got to see mostly the women play and also the eventual US gold medal winners.
It was sad that the US blew it against Nigeria by getting a red card in the first two minutes of the game and then going on to lose. But it was nice to know that we watched the eventual two teams to make it to the Gold medal match. Nigeria and Argentina. Argentina won the gold.
Handball is my new favorite sport right after beach volleyball, it just doesn't have the hot chicks in bikinis, actually it doesn't have any hot chicks, but I only watched the men play. All I have to say about this is that the US needs to get a handball team because we would dominate at this sport, we could definitely beat the crepe eating Frenchies at it, and they won the gold. If you eat crepes instead of pancakes, you are just not a man. You can fact check that shit. Although crepes are delicious.
I scored some sweet tennis tickets from my boss at the least minute, even though I was supposed to see baseball with Golze. However, it was a good choice, I got to see some of the best tennis players in the world play.I got to see James Blake blow a lead he had to lose in the semi finals to Gonzalez, the two time silver medal winner. James Blake could have got silver if got his act together, there was no way he would have beat Nadel in the final. I got to see the last point of the Williamses. The Nadel versus Djokovic match was intense and great to watch. I also got to see Federer briefly, serving up aces to the American twins. And I saw most of the end of an intense four hour plus match, Sweden vs. France. It was very exciting that match and the whole day, that match and the whole day were way too long though. I was there from 4pm to almost 3am. Longer than I stay at work. The one thing I didn't like about the day is the Chinese fans booed when the two Russians in the stadium cheered for their team in the last match. I also got to see Lindsey Davenport and her partner play, but I think they ended up losing to the hot Spanish team. There were too many matches going on at the same time to watch everything. It was a little overwhelming.
I saw the lightening Bolt break the 100 meter record. Seriously the Chinese time keepers were manipulating the clock so that they could say that he broke the world record at the Beijing Olympics, or he is on some serious steriods, the kind they give elephants and humpback whales. Seriously, who breaks the world record slowing down and with a slight head wind. Considering all the previous world record holders that I remember have all been on steriods, I think it is a matter of time before he gets caught. The clock is ticking. I guess by next year they will figure out from which zoo he took the steriods. For that matter, I also think its a matter of time before they figure out that the whole Chinese national team was on steriods, even the ping pong players. Considering they almost doubled their total medal count and gold medal count from last Olympics.
Got to see a world record broken in the women's 3000 meter steeplechase. The Romanian who won was kind of hot, she could steeple my chase, you know what I am saying? Because I don't. Loud noises.
I got to see the US men sweep the 400 meters, one of the only good things the US time did right in track and field. And I got to see the Russian pole smoker break the world record in the pole vault. I definitely would let her handle my pole.
Got to see the US blow it in the women's 400 meters, I am not going to name names, but she blew it. Fast time in the world, and doesn't come to preform. Like my high school football coach used to say, when you choked, she pissed down her leg. For that matter Tyson Gay did too. So did the US shot putters. There is more on the US team pissing down there leg to come. It was also great to see Dawn Harper win the hurdles. Go Dawn. I would say Lolo Jones choked too, but she is too damn mesmerizing to say anything against her.
I got to see the Jamaican superfreak, break another world record in the 200 meters. That man is scary fast, I think he is part cheetah.
It was great to see the USA sweep the 400 meters. The US showed a lot of heart in the race especially Neville diving for the bronze. Too bad the USA men and women's 4x1 team pissed down their legs. They both by far were the biggest disappointments of the Olympics.
Semifinal Olympic boxing was much better than the qualifying boxing. I think what mostly made it better to watch is that Golze and I bet 10 kuai on each match. He ended up on top 10 kuai. Luckily, I started to pick the boxers correctly or I would have lost my shirt. 10 kuai adds up fast. It was disappointing to watch the one American in all of semifinal boxing get out boxed by the Italian. The American had so much reach too, he pissed down his leg, he shouldn't have lost.
Watched Mr. Bolt and his Jamaican cohorts break another world record in the 4x1. I am predicting that they all will have to hand back their medals. But none the less they were impressive they showed the US how you are supposed to preform in the Olympics.
Watched Sanya Richards redeem herself after a disappointing performance in the 400 meters. She had a great come back from behind run for the USA 4x4 women's team. It was also great to see the men break the Olympic record in the 4x4.
The US track team probably had the most disappointing Olympics that I have ever seen. And biggest disappointing performances go to the men and women 4x1 relay teams as I already said.
For me the best performer of the this Olympics are the steriods the Chinese athletes are using they by far out performed the steriods the US athletes are using. And the best government experiment performance went to the half man half shark Michael Phelps, there is just no way that man is human. I am pretty sure he is the brother of the Montauk Monster, the Montauk Monster was the beta version.
Highlight of the Day: Watching the superfreak video.
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