Am I Catching A Bus Or Playing Football?

This weekend was wicked awesome. But all joking a side, this weekend was pretty fun, I even have to admit the scavenger hunt that we were forced to partake in was even fun. This weekend even taught me a valuable less than for some reason I hadn’t realized before, hey but I am a slow learner. Before I get in to my lesson of the day, what did I do this weekend

On Friday night, I treated my roommate and his friends to dinner. Ever since I have gotten to Hangzhou, they pretty much every night have made me dinner, so I thought that I would return the favor, and take them out to eat. We went to one of the small restaurants behind the school. They are some top-notch restaurants; dishes are like $0.75 each. They chose one of the more lavish restaurants were the dishes are like maybe a dollar each. And they also chose to order so some food that I would a never thought of eating but in actuality it turned out to be really good. For example duck heads was one of the dishes we had and another rather taste dish was the snails. The snails kind of tasted like shrimp, they were not that bad. I can’t really explain what the ducked tasted like but it was um…um…good. For drinks we had a lot of beer. It was a really good dinner. After dinner my roommate, some of his friends, and I meet up with Clark, Joy, Jamie, Cahill, and there roommates to go out and sing karaoke. It was my first time singing karaoke. I always that singing karaoke would suck but when your feeling right, karaoke is hella fun. Friday was a good night.

Saturday for some awful reason we had to do this scavenger hunt hella early in the morning. Of course I was late waking up. A night of singing karaoke songs tires you out, just let me tell you. The start of my Saturday morning was no going so well, lets just say, my stomach was not feeling right when I woke up and the bump buses were not helping it. But when I got going and we got off the first bus my stomach didn’t hurt some much but this part is boring and I don’t want to talk about that. So on Saturday we did this scavenger hunt and we climb some mountain that had all these tea fields on it. It was pretty cool. Hangzhou is famous for their tea. Everyone in China drinks it. Because we were in the area with the famous tea, we decided to stop a tea place and a have a fresh cup. Because the tea is famous it is hella expensive so we got the cheapest cup we could and it was not that good. But chillin in the teahouse was hella relaxing. After the teahouse we went to a pagoda, we didn’t actually go in and see it but from the outside it liked nice. It was tall and majestic and just sitting there being a pagoda. I thought that was pretty flippin awesome. I like when building just sit there being all still and majestic, it means they are doing a good job at being a building and I can respect that. So after the pagoda we caught the bus home and this is where I learned my lesson of the day.

Just a word of advice for all those people we are reading this and playing to come to china and catch the bus. I suggest that before you come that you start lifting weights. Because you are going to need to be on brawlic status to catch the bus here, I mean you are going to need be on some Arnold Mr. Universe 1987 status buff. Because getting on the bus is like playing football and running track at the same time especially if there are empty sits on the bus before everyone gets on So, for all those that are coming here this is what to do and watch out for and a few tactics to use.

So this is what happens , the bus starts coming down the street and everyone sees it. So everyone starts to run to where they think the bus is going to stop. Once the bus finally stops, everyone charges for the door all at once. The trick here is not to try to stand in a line, because lines don’t exist. If you try to stand in line you are going to get thrown out of the way or pushed all the way to the back. So try to push your way to the front like everyone else. You are going to need to use force here, or better yet try to find a old lady in the 40 to 60 year old age range because they are the best at pushing people out of the way and the are the most aggressive. So try to get behind one of these old ladies, and you be the tailback and let her be the fullback. Trust me, she definitely will lead you to the promise land. Once you finally get on the bus, don’t waste time finding your seat and once you find one don’t sit down slowly because once you get on the bus it is a race for the empty sits. And don’t let the old ladies fool you; they are a lot quicker than you think. For example I was in Beijing getting on the bus, taking my time because I didn’t realize you have to take getting on a crowded bus seriously. Oh, yeah this only is for buses that are going to be crowd, if the bus is not going to be crowded you will have no problem. But anyway I was getting on this bus in Beijing, taking my time, all the Chinese people around me are racing for seats, pushing each other, but I had some luck and there was still a sit open I go to seat down in it, As I am slowly sitting down this old lady comes out of nowhere and tries to sit in the seat I am about to sit in. I almost sat right in here lap. If I had taking like 3 more seconds to seat down, she would have got me for my seat. So don’t waste time seating and everyone is going to be racing for a sit and pushing each other out of the way, so be careful when getting on, you could lose an eye are something. Also if the bus is crowded and you have to stand, never ever, ever, ever, ever stand by the back door. This is the lesson I had to learn the hard way this weekend. When the bus is crowded and you are standing by the back door you are going to be tossed around like a rag doll. I swear when I was on the bus this weekend people were using me like a pinball. I was just getting pushed around every which way and it was not even the guys who were doing it, it was the old ladies. The ladies in China are crazy and when are on bus with them you have to always be watching out for them, because they don’t give fuck about you or even other Chinese people for that matter. They will run you over like a tank in Tiananmen Square (if you don’t know about Tiananmen Square you need to read a book) and not even think twice about it. I guess the Cultural Revolution will do that to you. So to sum up everything that I have said, get buff before you get on a bus in China and watch out for the old ladies.

Just like to give a shot out to Steven “Hawaii” Jensen, keep eating all that sushi and thanks for being our number one fan.

Also like to give a shot out to Europa Yang, good luck at that second rate school. You could have been Middlebury material, nut maybe in the next life you will be cool enough to go to a school like Middlebury.
Also can someone please say hi to Golze for me, I have not seen him in like forever. I would really like to know what that guy is up.