Audrey, My New Love

Today, I went shopping with my Mongolian friend for a present for another friend for her Birthday, I am pretty sure my Mongolian friend works for the Mongolian CIA. MCIA speaks like 12 languages, has been to mad different countries, has a scar on his face that I think he got from a knife fight in Russia, and is always doing some secret assignment of the government. I might have blown his cover, so if I am dead tomorrow you know why. Anyway, While MCIA and where looking for gift ideas, that is when I met her. She was squatting looking extremely ambrosial. After much bargaining with her pimps, I finally bought her for 70RMB. She is beautiful. Her race is Limonium and she comes from the Rutaceae family. Her family is very prestigious, especially in India.

I am so excited to have her be a new edition to my apartment. I finally have someone to talk to and spend my nights with. Her name is Audrey.

While I was walking around today looking for gifts with my MCIA friend, I spoke with some Chinese plant sellers and they tried to tell me that lemons are limes before they turn yellow. I was like wtf, ah ok, if you say so. But since I know nothing about plants, this could be true. So if anybody can verify this information for me, I would appreciate that.

And this year, I thought I would use an aluminum pole instead of a Christmas tree. But I think that I will just use Audry instead, prop her up in a corner and put lights and presents under her.

Now it is time to head to the bar and if someone could give me information on how to raise a lemon tree, I would appreciate that too.