The 100th Post, Whoa!!!!

China's rapid growth is fast, hard hitting, and unprecedented, kind of like ones first bout with the NINjA. This new growth has caused an increase boom in the amount of cars and the amount of flights that people are buying and taking (really is booming from beef to iphones, and I am pretty sure you can purchase everything from beef to iphones on its black market as well, which is very convenient.Especially, since unlike the US the black market is semi-legal or at least there is very little crack down on it and also unlike the US, I know where to go to get stuff off the Chinese black market, I guess it is more like a grey market or maybe a charcoal). But because all this growth is sudden and people are mostly newly rich and/or moving out of poverty into the middle class, for lack of a better word, they don't know WTF they are doing.

With an increase in the amount of cars on the rode their has been an increase in the amount of drivers, according to my Chinese colleague, most Chinese drivers had only experience with a car for 10 years or less, this includes riding in the car. When you think about this, it is no wonder this is a country full of crazy drivers. From my understand on traffic law, the only one that matters is red lights, all else can be ignored at will. I don't think I have ever seen a police car pull someone over, even when the car come to think of it ran a red light right in front of him. So maybe the red light rule only applies sometimes. I have not been to a lot of countries, but I am going to make this statement, China has the most reckless drivers I have ever seen. The only rule of the road is don't hit another car and even though another car might hit you, it may be your fault. Even if all you did was slow down, for lets say traffic. Seeing how crazy traffic is, has given me apprehensions about getting a bike. That and it is freezing right now, and they steal bikes like its diamonds around here.

The growing numbers has made flying in China very interesting to. In the old days the normal way to travel around China was to take the train. It was cheap, slow, and reliable. Now with the increase of wealth, the plane is the new train. But some of the habits with taking the train have not changed. According to the same colleague, Chinese people are used to bring lots of luggage on board trains. This mentality has continued for the plane. People bring copious amounts of luggage on board the plane with them. To the point that if you are not quick to board the plane you will not be able to put your stuff in the over head bins and you might now have leg room under your seat either.

And this rush brings me to the thing I hate most in China. I hate it in the US, but I hate it even more in China. FUCKING LINES!!! Lines are the worst thing in China. I have no idea why Chinese people, I hate generalizations (while I actually enjoy them a lot), cannot comprehend the concept of a line. You just stand right behind the person in front of you and wait. Simple right. NO, Chinese people have to push to get to the front and will walk right up to the front of the line like there is people already waiting with utter disregard for the whole line system. I can't really get it.

So how to take advantage of the line system in China.

As the saying goes, "when in China cut the WTFing line." The trick is simple, walk right up to the front and push your way through. If someone says something to you, just say "Dong Bu Ting." And you will be fine. They will just be like stupid foreigner, but you will be in the front. Actually if you run into any problems where you are doing something that you know you shouldn't be, just say "Dong Bu Ting." 100% of the time it works 37.9% of the time.

When pushing it is best not to use as much force as possible, because you don't actually want to knock the old people down (remember that old women are your biggest adversaries), you just want them to let you in, move faster, or get out of your way. They probably will not do the latter. So this is the trick use your fingers and poke them in the ribs (a pen works best, well actually a knife does, but you don't want to kill people, the government might not be okay with that. But you have diplomatic immunity feel free to use a knife). Aim for right under the arm in between the ribs if you use your finger, if you are using a pen then aim for the bone, it will hurt the most. This will temporarily stunt the Chinese person in front of you or cause them to move out of your way allowing you to move up in the front of the line. Remember one you get to the front of the line, be quick to give your ticket or you might be mauled by a panda.